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Showing posts with label She Said. Show all posts
Showing posts with label She Said. Show all posts

Monday, 27 April 2020

Kabir Singh and a Lazy Afternoon

April 27, 2020 20 Comments

I was going through a very difficult time of my life when my friend (philosopher and guide) Debdatta suggested I should write and put it in a blog. She actually gave me access to her personal blog, and the lazy me didn’t do anything concrete with it. 


After this lockdown, like many others, my husband is at home and eating my head along with sweets, biscuits, and every possible snack and bugging me to do something about my free time. My friends and this husband seem to have a lot of confidence in me that I will do something good in life; however, I am happy with my lazy ass.

Yesterday, after a heated argument, which I think my hubby won, he convinced me to write. Therefore, here I am trying to collaborate one of my favorite subject Psychology with not at all favorite character Kabir Singh. 

Before I start, let me clarify that I am talking about the Kabir Singh as a character, not Shahid Kapoor the actor.



The primary criticism the movie received is that it is promoting misogyny and being anti-feminist. However, I found the main problem in the movie is: The director is promoting a mental illness as a masculine trait and fun qualities. Kabir Singh is clearly suffering from Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). It is a very much real disorder recognized by DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). The DSM-5 defines the Intermittent Explosive Disorder as “recurrent behavioral outbursts representing a failure to control aggressive impulses.” (American Psychiatric Association, 2013)

From the very beginning of the movie till the end, there are multiple occasions where it is very evident that he needs some medical help, counseling, and medication. Having a mental disorder is not fun, like many other physical problems it needs to be treated. I actually felt like the director Sandeep Reddy Vanga trying to say like, “hey Kabir! You have a brain tumor (comparing IED with a physical disease to have a better understanding), it’s actually fun to have a deadly disease and the best part is you are not going to be treated, and most importantly, you are a doctor.”

For god’s sake get some treatment Kabir, you are a doctor, I am sure you know some good psychiatrist and they can give you some discount also. Anyhow, Kabir was consuming so many drugs; it won’t kill to replace them with some prescribed medicine. 

I am sure after the treatment, people will not call you a misogynist, and even if you still behave like a jerk with girls, you can definitely do something about it and get improved. But first, consult a psychiatrist.

And lastly, let me tell you who the main villain in the movie is… Any guess…

It is that dean of that medical college, he asked Kabir to write an apology letter for his aggressive and violent behaviors and didn’t bother to understand that he is sick with IED and needs to visit a psychiatrist. 

This is my two cents about Kabir Sigh. I hope I will not get back to my lazy routine and continue to write more. 

Please suggest me something to write about. I struggle a lot with prospective topics. 


Thanks




Friday, 18 October 2019

#SheSaid : Etching Our Thoughts in Ink

October 18, 2019 0 Comments

Etching Our Thoughts in Ink


She was restless all day...

There was a growing need to grow out of her shell. It was almost like her current life was pressing on her as the old skin that she desperately needed to shed. 

She went ahead and cleansed her inbox from people that no longer served her a purpose and who she could no longer relate to. After all, all relationships are a form of transaction - you give some to get some.

However the restlessness kept on growing. Was she only born to take responsibility, pay bills and then to die? No! She was made for much more. 

As the night progressed, She felt this immense need to grow - grow out of this mess called life, to bloom and just love herself. 

Since time She can remember,  She has looked for love outside. In empty coffee cups, in unfinished messages that were never sent, in the inboxes of social media, in her call log...

Whenever she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw remnants of "What it could have been" and not "What it is." She was tired of looking.

She craved to feel whole - within herself. Collect all of her broken pieces and like Kintsukuroi (the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with gold), use love for herself to create a more beautiful and unique version of HER.

Till now she was waiting for someone to come into her life and complete her, to give her the love she craved, fulfill her with the love she deserves. But life has only offered her disappointments and lessons - not love and affection. It's almost like she is trying to step one foot forward while the other one is stuck in the murky waters of old memories and pain.

It was "Lokkhi Pujo" back home. Her mom said her dad got two lotus flowers for the puja, even though only one was needed. It was a sign! The flower lotus which occupies an unique position in art and mythology and is used as a key ingredient in Lakshmi Puja, can only grow in murky waters. 
She remembered one of the lines from one of her favorite books by Sylvia Plath -

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”


She is there for herself even if no one is. She is strong, She is fire, She is love - She could hear her battered old heart beating loudly. She was finally ready to fall in love with the most important person she will ever meet, HER!

As soon as She woke up next day, She rushed to the first tattoo parlour that would take her call and etched her thoughts in ink.


She is the one person who would be with her for life and She was finally ready to start a relationship with herself.