#SheSaid : Etching Our Thoughts in Ink
Lost in Translation
October 18, 2019
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Etching Our Thoughts in Ink
She was restless all day...
There was a growing need to grow out of her shell. It was almost like her current life was pressing on her as the old skin that she desperately needed to shed.
She went ahead and cleansed her inbox from people that no longer served her a purpose and who she could no longer relate to. After all, all relationships are a form of transaction - you give some to get some.
However the restlessness kept on growing. Was she only born to take responsibility, pay bills and then to die? No! She was made for much more.
As the night progressed, She felt this immense need to grow - grow out of this mess called life, to bloom and just love herself.
Whenever she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw remnants of "What it could have been" and not "What it is." She was tired of looking.
She craved to feel whole - within herself. Collect all of her broken pieces and like Kintsukuroi (the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with gold), use love for herself to create a more beautiful and unique version of HER.
Till now she was waiting for someone to come into her life and complete her, to give her the love she craved, fulfill her with the love she deserves. But life has only offered her disappointments and lessons - not love and affection. It's almost like she is trying to step one foot forward while the other one is stuck in the murky waters of old memories and pain.
It was "Lokkhi Pujo" back home. Her mom said her dad got two lotus flowers for the puja, even though only one was needed. It was a sign! The flower lotus which occupies an unique position in art and mythology and is used as a key ingredient in Lakshmi Puja, can only grow in murky waters.
She remembered one of the lines from one of her favorite books by Sylvia Plath -
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”
She is there for herself even if no one is. She is strong, She is fire, She is love - She could hear her battered old heart beating loudly. She was finally ready to fall in love with the most important person she will ever meet, HER!
As soon as She woke up next day, She rushed to the first tattoo parlour that would take her call and etched her thoughts in ink.
She is the one person who would be with her for life and She was finally ready to start a relationship with herself.
