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Taylor Swift’s NEW album is here, you folks!

THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL!

I mean, if you haven’t watched the 2-hour podcast episode yet, please find some time and watch it. The world embraced the sparkly orange, and only TS had the guts to do it when people in her country are already suffering under an orange power.

By the way, you probably know that Taylor Swift is often “accused” of writing songs about breakups. Yes, it feels like accusations the way the media portrays her music. The intent is always to demean her work because she mostly writes about love and breakups. Despite love being one of the most talked-about emotions, despite every other musician singing or writing about the same thing, it suddenly becomes unacceptable or too frivolous when it’s Taylor Swift?

Make that make sense, folks!

But hey, did you know TS wrote about other things as well?

If not, keep scrolling. We’re here to talk about thirteen (yes, 13) songs by Taylor Swift that are NOT about falling in love or breakups.

1.     1. Marjorie (Album: evermore)
Marjorie is the name of Taylor’s grandmother. She lost her when she was really young. She lost her when she was not in the same town. In an interview clip, Taylor mentions that she regrets not being around her when it happened. She regrets not knowing her and all of those emotions are poured into this song. It’s a deeply emotional song about her grandmother and how she still feels her and how she would’ve loved to spend more time with her and get to know her. Somehow, she even managed to find her grandmother’s opera vocals and put them in this song and that segment never fails to give me goosebumps.

My favourite lines: “Never be so kind that you forget to be clever, never be so clever that you forget to be kind.”

2.      2. this is me trying (Album: folklore)
In her Long Pond Studio Sessions, Taylor Swift talks to Jack Antonoff (they write songs together) about this song. They talk about how people with addiction and mental health illnesses are always in an active fight in their daily lives. The song depicts how the act of trying is almost a battle. Moreover, the song also talks about how someone who feels like they’ve lost it in life despite having so much potential in school years or earlier years. This song breaks my heart and is one of my most favourite songs of all time by TS.

My favourite lines: “They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that…”

3.      3. I Hate it Here (Album: The Tortured Poets Department)
If you have ever felt that you don’t really belong to this world and that you almost always want to escape into daydreams or in a world of imagination (like binge-reading or watching something), this song is the one for you. TS writes about being trapped in a body or a world where they cannot be what they really are and thus, need to escape to a different world. This is a song that will appeal to the introverts and hypersensitive people who are probably the more adversely affected lot due to the harshness of this world.

My favourite lines: “I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life
and I'll get lost on purpose
This place made me feel worthless...”

4.      4. Mean (Album: Speak Now)
One thing that Taylor Swift does best is turn her experiences into these superb songs that you can even dance to. In a few interview, she explains that she wrote this song ‘Mean’ about the critics who wrote about her albums by not giving any constructive criticism but just being mean. She was thinking about this powerless feeling of being at the receiving end of such mean comments from people no matter how hard she works. And then the song also gives an upbeat melody and lyrics that can fill you with hope about how all these mean comments will not affect her one day when she’s made it big.

My favourite lines: “Someday... I'll be living in a big old city
and all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
and all you're ever gonna be is mean.”

5.      5. 22 (Album: Red)
This song is so full of young energy. Although the title of the song very specifically is about the age “22”, what I feel from watching the music video is that TS wrote and sang how it feels to be in her early to mid-twenties, having a lot of fun and just enjoying life when you start to enter this new phase of life when you’re free from studies and have started earning. For some of us, this might even be the late twenties. Also, she’s surrounded by her female friends in this music video and even the lyrics is about how they’re taking a break from everything and just feeling young. In an interview, she mentions that she wanted to write how she was feeling while spending her summer with her friends.

My favourite lines: “We're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time,
It's miserable and magical.”

6.      6. You Need to Calm Down (Album: Lover)
Here’s something for all the haters. Taylor Swift gets a lot of negative attention on the internet despite having a huge following of Swifties who are hardcore protectors of her. Although, TS have stayed away from engaging with politics or mixing it with her music for a long time… this is probably one of the times we see her touching upon issues she feels strongly about. Apart from being a response to internet trolls and haters, this song hints at her support for the queer community and she also talks about how female celebrities keep getting compared to each other despite each of them having a massive superpower themselves.

My favourite lines: “And we see you over there on the internet
Comparing all the girls who are killing it
But we figured you out
We all know now, we all got crowns
You need to calm down…”

7.      7. Only the Young (from the documentary Miss Americana)
This song, played in the credits of the documentary Miss Americana, is like an anthem. In this documentary, and various other interviews succeeding it, TS expressed how young people get affected the most with all the terrible issues in their country like gun violence, stalking, healthcare, climate change, etc. So, this song was pretty much Taylor openly expressing her political beliefs and also revealing her support against the then President of US, Donald Trump.
My favourite lines: “They aren’t gonna help us
Too busy helping themselves
They aren’t gonna change this
We gotta do it ourselves...”

8.      8. The Man (Album: Lover)
It’s not a new thing that Taylor often gets a lot of headlines for reasons her male contemporaries are left out of the discussions. Drawing from her personal experience as a businesswoman and from the collective experience of being a woman, she wrote this song to represent how the society views men and women in a vastly different lens. Another political number, Taylor Swift smashes the patriarchy with her lyrics in this song and hey, don’t miss this music video (and of course, the BTS of making this video) on her YouTube channel.

My favourite lines: “I'm so sick of running as fast as I can
Wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man.”

9.      9. mad woman (Album: folklore)
Now that we’ve talked about how women and men are treated differently just because of the gender, let’s talk about this freakishly beautiful song that is all about how women have been labelled as “mad” left, right, and centre for ridiculous reasons. One of my most favourite songs, this carries the rage of all the women who have been called either angry or insane. Just go and tell me, if it doesn’t chill your bones.

My favourite lines: “And there's nothin' like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothin' like a mad woman…”

10. Long Live (Album: Speak Now)
This fantastic song is from one of her earlier albums and the whole meaning of it has evolved ever since she first started performing it. As per Taylor, this song is dedicated to her band and the fans who have been there with her for years, standing by her side, as they scaled the wobbly heights of the music industry. Full of gratitude, this song is one of the best live performances that addresses directly to all the struggles of an artist but at the same time, being grateful for everything she has achieved. While she performs this song during the Eras Tour, it sort of also hinted at how she keeps manifesting the stardom she’s so in fond of.

My favourite lines: “Will you take a moment?
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if, God forbid, fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine...”

11. Anti-Hero (Album: Midnights)
Ever had a bout of self-loathing? Well, this song is going to become your shadow then. Taylor explains in an Instagram post how we all have things we hate about ourselves. And this one particularly caters to that extremely unsettling and yet comfortable feeling most of us might have experienced.
My favourite lines: “It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”

12. I Did Something Bad (Album: reputation)
The entire album of reputation has a huge lore behind it. In short, Taylor Swift received a lot of hate from the media in the years before this album for a lot of reasons. She disappeared from everywhere for a year. Came back with this banger of an album where each and every song is fueled by rage, frustration, and it shows how Taylor embraces whatever is thrown at her and turns it into the best possible songs. I Did Something Bad, if lyrics are decoded, refers to events in her life that aren’t so pleasant and where she’s painted as a villain for standing up for herself. Moreover, it is also speculated that quite a few songs on this album have references to the popular show on HBO, “A Game of Thrones”. This song is apparently about the Stark sisters, Sansa and Arya, plotting the death of Littlefinger. Oops, sorry about the spoiler if you haven’t watched the show yet.

My favourite lines: “This is how the world works
You gotta leave before you get left…”

13. Mastermind (Album: Midnights)
You know what’s the best thing about Taylor Swift? If you listen to a song enough number of times and really listen to the lyrics and know the entire lore, you’ll probably end up finding references to love and breakups in most of her songs. And yet, the song might be about something completely different. Like, this one – Mastermind. It might seem like she’s talking about a guy but this song is more about how she’s demeaned on the internet for being a strategist… a calculative planner who loves doing all of it so much. In an interview, she also ends up saying that she was inspired for this song by a movie she was watching. I don’t remember which movie she was referring to. But even if you look at how she planned her Eras Tour and all of her Easter Eggs for her fans, she lives up to this image of being a Mastermind and how!

My favourite lines: “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid
So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since
To make them love me and make it seem effortless
This is the first time I've felt the need to confess…”

So, there you go! And be assured that there are more songs by Taylor which are not about love or breakups. But hey, this list had to have 13. *wink wink*

Tell me now, which is your favourite Taylor Swift song that has nothing to do with a love story or a break-up?

Sometimes you meet a person and you just click—you’re comfortable with them, like you’ve known them your whole life, and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone or anything. - Unknown

It was a sunny December morning. We (I am my husband) took our daughter to her new school. She was about to start her offline school after 1.5 years, and I was worried.

VANI:

MANJEERA:

KARISHMA:

Her son, Bunny is the Magic Jappi of our group.

I really don’t remember how and when we all (Vani, Manjeera, Karishma & I) became friends.

It is so difficult to get like minded people and I got three of them.

We are a crazy bunch, shouting, yelling, sometimes crying also, and always in the mood for a party. 

We love our Chole Kulcha, especially me and Vani and while Karishma is on diet, and cursing us.

We had multiple parties, dramas, children fighting, crying, making peace, ladies complaining about our husbands, gifts and so much more.

I can’t thank you guys are enough for being there for me, not judging me for my craziness. 

You guys are the precious gems that I found when I was not even looking, and I was apprehensive to form any kind of bond. You guys showed me that I shouldn’t lose hope to make new friends because of some bad experiences. 

And the best thing about us is that we are not like some mothers who are constantly making their kids compete with each other. We understand that every child has their own strength and weakness and as a group, we cherish and encourage that. 

This is a very rare quality to be found in today’s world, especially when some parents asked me what is my daughter’s rank in the playgroup exam. 

I would like to give a glimpse of our WhatsApp chat:

Vani:

To all the kids I thank you to make me enjoy the child within me
I so much need bunny’s hug, Nyaomi’s energy, And Advika’s unconditional love
If it was not for them, I don’t think I would have ever met anyone.
The three months will be the best for making me fall in love with this city
And to trust in friends again

Manjeera:
Yes true. All thanks to our ❤️ly piyu (that’s me)

Vani:
To Priyanka, I credit you for being the skeleton of this group. Manjeera is the blood to energise it. Karishma gives the neuro electric spark to add a vibe.
Don’t mind my biology.
Am probably the hormones which keep the group sane or insane.

Me:
Please keep the compliments flowing, especially about me.

Karishma:
I am late as usual (That is the thing, she didn’t reply)


Currently, we are in different parts of India, however, I know, I can call them anytime and pick up where we left off.

I can all them my friends for life.



I miss you guys like hell, I miss our parties, I miss the support you provided to me, and helped me in so many ways.

Every one of you has a unique and a genuine soul. I thank God for all of you and the time we spent together.

LOVE YOU GUYS.

As Helen Keller rightly said,

I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light. 

Dear Nayomi,

Mrs. B said these words with so much confidence and conviction that for moment I could not wonder but thought…

“Is she my master or something, that is telling me what to and what not to wear? At the same time, she is so generous to give me the permission to wear whatever I want to wear indoors.”

Again, who gets to decide what is revealing? In Afghanistan, wearing a Burka which does not cover your face is revealing. At the same there are beaches in the world where walking naked is not revealing.

This answer didn’t impress her. Rather it made her only more eager to prove her point that what I wear, I wear it to get negative attention (read sexual attention) from men.

Hence, she came at me with her big guns.

“Somewhere a four-year girl got raped by the milk man because her mom wore short clothes and the milk man couldn’t rape the mom, so he raped the little girl and killed her.”

WOW, I did NOT have a response to that. It is like my actions will cause something so horrible to my daughter that I can’t even imagine it even in my worst nightmare. And someone actually said this out loud. 

Should I cry because of the pain she caused me or tell her to fuck off?

I don’t know what to do. I am numb. I left the premise.

After I reached home, my immediate response was immense anger. After I had calmed down, I realized what she was trying to do. She was trying to SLUT-SHAME me.

Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. The term is used to reclaim the word slut and empower women and girls to have agency over their own sexuality.

I know exactly why she was doing this, point to point, but this is not about her, it’s about all of the people who think it’s their birth right to slut shame others, especially girls.

Some Basic examples of slut shaming

Blaming the girl:

Mocking someone else’s sexual practices because to you, they are “weird.”:

Assuming a girl is only dressing up to impress guys:

Why Someone slut shame others

How to stop Slut Shaming

"I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because I choose to. Women can be sexual AND talented. Naked and dignified. It’s OUR choice," - Ariana Grande

Now the point is, we all talk about female stereotypes, we all fight it in our own way (I hope we all do). But face it, female stereotypes are the real issue, but we also need to address the other elephant in the room, the male stereotypes. They are so interconnected that we can’t move forwards without addressing both issues.

According to various analysts and researchers, male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. 

The most popular stereotypes of male characters are:

The Joker: The funny who no one takes seriously, he is there just for the comic relief, most importantly, no girl wants to date him.

The Jock: He is athletic, muscular, date the sexiest girl, is usually dumb, and sucks at studies.

The Strong Silent Type: He exudes strength by taking action without expressing or worrying about their emotions. He loves to deny his emotions and feelings. Denial is his poison. 

The Big Shot: These are the people who think they are mighty or they are acting like they are better than everybody else when in reality they are not.

The Action Hero: This is the one with a savior complex. It’s his job to save someone, especially a girl. We see them everywhere with their inflated muscles and egos. 

The Buffoon: Commonly described as a bungling father figure. They are usually well-intentioned and light-hearted, however completely hopeless when it comes to parenting, dealing with domestic or career issues.

However, when we dig dipper, one common theme in all the stereotypes are “be a man, suck it up,”

Let us see what are the most common male stereotypes:

Vulnerability: The biggest stereotyped male behaviour is showing Vulnerability. Hey are suppose to be the MAN, can’t ask for help, can’t show fear, he will not express his love, in short, a robot with muscles.

And when they actually ask for help, they have penalized for the challenge of this notion.

Emotions (Sadness): The only emotion a man is allowed to show is his anger. In various cultures, men are socialized to be stoic.

And when they show any other emotion other than anger they are showed with amazing adjectives like being pussy.

Love for Sports: Men are supposed to love sports, especially the aggressive ones, like rugby, football, basketball.

Control their woman: A man have to be in control of his home, especially his wife. If one can’t control their wife, it’s a big shame.

Modesty: Men are expected to be proud of their achievements. Research shows that men who were more modest about their qualifications were evaluated as less likable.

Now, what we can do about it…

The simplest answer here is to teach our children to be more compassionate to everyone, celebrate men who dare to express their emotions, broaden gender stereotypical roles, most importantly do not gender police.

Let’s start this discussion with the wise words of Nelson Mandela,

“We slaughter one another in our words and attitudes. We slaughter one another in the stereotypes and mistrust that linger in our heads, and the words of hate we spew from our lips.” 

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

“But I can feel your love, as strong as mine” – Arjun B

প্রেম আসলে ছন্নছাড়া,
দৌড়ে বেড়ায় এদিক ওদিক,
শূন্য মন ভরায় যে,
সেই আমার তখন প্রেমিক।

A loose translation...

Love is aimless, roaming around all day. Whoever can fill the vacuum of my heart, is my love for the time being.

Love is Misleading affliction: Gautama Buddha said we love because we are trying to satisfy our basic desires of companionship. However, our passionate cravings are defects, and the end attachment even if it is romantic love, results in a great source of suffering.

Love lets us reach beyond ourselves: French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to be one with another and it supposes to infuse our lives with meaning.

She advised to love authentically; it is more like a great friendship. Like a mutual support system, each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives as well as the world, together.

Though it is literally impossible to know why we fall in love, one thing is certain that it’ll be an emotional rollercoaster ride. 

We lose ourselves. 

We find ourselves. 

It might end in heartbreak or the best thing in life. 

Hence, the moral of the story, love is the pain and is the cure and we humans are powerless in front of it. 

“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.” A.S. Byatt

 

The main purpose of showing her these masterpieces are is to make her learn what not to do in life.

The movie revolves around three characters:

Conclusion: 

Sonu is closeted Bisexual and Indian movies are far behind even showing Homosexual relationships; Bisexual theme in a movie is ages behind.

My three-year-old daughter drives me crazy with her activities and it is a daily thing in our home. And many a time, to my surprise, what I tell her is, “good girls don’t behave like this.”

But first, let’s see the common characteristics of Good Girls:

Living for others: The main and the most important characteristic of a Good Girl is that she lives for others; her whole life is devoted to others, especially to her husband and in-laws. 

Being what others want you to be: A Good Girl is what others want her to be, especially the men in her life, obedient, submissive, and happy (nothing wrong in being happy, however here happy means looking happy not being), always available to serve others, and the list goes on and on.

“Me” is on the back foot: This is interconnected with the first point; her own self is served at last. She is never her own priority. Even if she looks nice and happy, it’s because to gives comfort to someone else. Not for her own good. 

Compelled to behave like this for others' approval: Her behavior is always aimed to please others, and getting their approval, especially from the opposite gender. 

She Avoids Drama: A Good Girl hates drama, not because of her personal dislike towards it, but rather to provide comfortable surroundings for men. 

She’s Not the Jealous Type: She is never the jealous type, not because she has overcome jealousy. It is just to make sure her man can be comfortable with others, and most importantly, to avoid drama. 

She’s All About Compromise: A Good Girl is synonymous with Compromise. Her whole life is a compromise and she is proud of it. 

She Takes Pride in Her Appearance: A Good Girl is always aware of her beauty and makes sure she looks nice all the time. Again, this is not because it is her choice, rather makes sure when her man sees her; he sees a beautiful, happy face. 

Humour: She has a great sense of humour, never cracks stupid jokes, doesn’t laugh loudly, always has a happy persona, and makes sure to never miss the chance at laughing at her man’s not-at-all funny jokes. 

Down-to-Earth: Good Girls are down to earth, even if she is a rocket scientist. Now being Down-to-Earth is not a bad quality, however, for a good girl, the reason is not to come across overachiever or over-educated to her male counterpart. 

She keeps only positive, uplifting people in her life: Now, last but definitely not the least, A GOOD GIRL IS A ROBOT. She is all positive, doesn’t have a single shred of negativity, is always happy, loving, serving, compromising, and definitely not a human.

Now back to the main question, why do we love our good girls?

The answer is simple; in a male-dominated society (created by both men and women) a Good Girl serves men's need to feel superior and comfortable (and many more, directly or indirectly). And who doesn’t like to be served?

Lastly, I want to finish with a thought…

“You can't put everyone before you and call that love”