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Showing posts with label Lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lifestyle. Show all posts

Thursday 10 August 2023

Embracing Self-Care and Self-Love: A Deeper Perspective

August 10, 2023 0 Comments


The concept of self-care and self-love has gained immense popularity. It is everywhere. People are talking about it across all social media platforms and  you hear about it in everyday conversations. However, if you really pay attention, it becomes quite apparent that many people discuss it without fully understanding it.

We have all been guilty of this at times - talking up things that we learn before understanding it completely. Personally, I too have been advocating for self-care for almost five years. Though with each passing year I have learnt and discovered more ~ its been a journey of continuous reading, watching, and learning.


Defining Self-Care / Self-Love

In the past, I would have described self-care as taking a little time out to pamper oneself. It could be something as simple as perhaps enjoying a cup of tea alone in the morning or indulging in a yearly body massage. But my understanding was limited to those small acts.

Despite these check-ins with myself, I rarely took meaningful action to address my physical and mental state. I would acknowledge the need for a break but felt burdened by responsibilities and obligations, convincing myself that putting myself first would be selfish. This mindset that the society has taught us, especially women, led me down a path of constant work, stress, and neglecting my well-being while taking care of everyone else until I experienced a severe burnout.

Looking back, I now realize that my understanding of self-care was superficial. While pampering oneself occasionally is essential, genuine self-love often demands more from us.

Discovering True Self-Love

Authentic self-care might sometimes push us to give ourselves the space we generously offer others; listening to and honoring what our minds and bodies are telling us. At times, it may even require us to embrace discomfort by being "selfish" enough to take that much-needed break or say no when we are already overwhelmed.

Self-love can also be painful, as it might require us to let go of relationships that no longer serve us or removing sources of negativity around us -even if they are friends or family.

However, before dismissing this as mere selfishness, consider three vital aspects:
The Definition of Selfishness: Is it selfish to listen to our minds and bodies, take a break from time-to-time, or set boundaries? Such steps are crucial for maintaining our well-being.
Who Defines Selfishness: If society deems these acts as selfish, reflect on whether those same people will support you during your darkest times or help pay your bills or help you with your mental and physical health needs.
The Importance of Self-Love: Without self-care, it becomes challenging to achieve our dreams or take care of others effectively. We must nourish ourselves to be capable of giving to others.



Embracing Self-Love: A Call to Action

At the core of it, self-love is about showing up for yourself every day and in every moment. It means saying no to things that don't align with our interests, cutting ties with toxic individuals, and prioritizing our well-being before caring for others.

As I look back on my enthusiasm for self-care when I first learnt about it without fully understanding its depth, I now realize the importance of introspection. By looking within, we can understand what our body and mind truly need. Only then can we start working on how to fulfill those needs without causing harm to others.

While this article provides insights into self-care and self-love that are my personal opinion from reading, learning, and experiencing things in own life, I suggest you to conduct further research and tailor these principles to suit your unique needs and personality.

Remember, genuine self-love requires continuous growth and understanding, making it a personal journey for each individual.
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Friday 26 August 2022

#MondayBlogs - Why I refuse to accept anything less than #SRK's brand of #romance

August 26, 2022 0 Comments

He needs no introduction… the scrawny guy from Delhi who has entertained us for more than 30 years now. On tv, on big screens, on stage and even at cricket stadiums. A star that has the most ardent following all over the world an has brought multiple generations together. The King Khan. The Badshah of Bollywood. The King of Romance.


As someone born around mid-80s, I have loved Shah Rukh Khan right from Circus and since before I had any understanding of romance. Yet I wished someone would sing ‘Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam’ for me since my pre-teens and DDLJ has been a constant in my life - I watch it when I am sad and need a mood lift, I watch it when I have something to celebrate and I watch it when I can’t decide what to watch on OTT. I have dreamed of being someone’s Maya, someone’s Zaara, someone’s Mandira, and someone’s Naina. I have cheered for Aryan Khanna, just as enthusiastically as I have cheered for Kabir Khan. I have loved Kali as much as I have loved Jahangir Khan or young Sunil or Don.

In Chennai Express, Rahul is the protector. In Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, he plays both a dutiful husband and over the top lover - the glass disguise work for Superman then why not ‘apna Raj’? In Jab Tak Hai Jaan, he is the lover who loves Meera the only way he is allowed to while playing the mentor and friend to Akira. In Kal Ho Na Ho, Aman loves Naina so much that he makes the way for Rohit. In Dil Se… he plays the lover who gives his life to stop the love of his life committing a grave mistake. In Pardes, Arjun saves Ganga over and over again while nurturing her. In Harry Met Sejal, yeah I watched that one too, Harry with all his faults does the right thing time and time again.

When I watched Chak De! India, emotions were running manifold. I mean come on, in a country that worshipped men’s cricket team for decades and all but ignored other sports and teams, Chak De! India focused on women’s hockey team. Watching the girls coming together despite all the hurdles was a high in itself. But with SRK playing Kabir Khan, looking all cool and delivering dialogues like, ‘team bananey k like taakat nahi, niyat chahiye,’… was a different high. It helped me look for things in my life that could be influenced to change for better with just intention.





When I watched Swades, I was blown away by SRK’s acting all over again. He did good and he also reinforced my belief in working at the grass root levels to make a change. Not every one of us have the capacity to make a change at a global level. And while Mohan Bhargav was already impacting the world with his work at NASA, coming back to a village in India that was hard to find on a map and working to change those lives… Well, it resonated. Working close to home, making small changes around yourself does have an impact. 





Fan ended up being my top favourite movie because his role as Aryan Khanna is almost autobiographical, minus the Gaurav angle. The small moment where he portrays an ageing star worried about the lines marring his features - it is such a fleeting moment in the movie, but I cannot imagine the nerve it must have taken to take the vulnerability of his life and his profession and putting it up on the screens for all to watch… Aryan Khanna is perhaps one of his best performances.

He set the screens on fire with his abs in Dard-e-Disco at 42 and let me tell you as much as I enjoyed watching it on screen, it also made me think that it is never too late to do something you set your mind to. At a time when younger actors were debuting and being compared to SRK (yet again), he stayed rock solid with his stardom and appeared on screen in a new avatar. And he is going to do it again at 56 for Pathan. An actor who claims to be bad at dancing tried his hand at (or should I say legs?!) at hip hop in 2012. Well, at 38… I think I can do too - not because I was told, but because my star showed me that it can be done.



I have to admit, I was probably the only one who left the theatre with tear stained eyes after watching Ram-Jaane and every time I watch Kal Ho Na Ho, my mom consoles me for not being able to save Aman yet again. Yes, I am that kind of a fan when it comes to SRK because he has spoiled me when it comes to romance.

   Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying he is flawless and hasn’t done some toxic things on screen. There is no denying that. And, let us be real, we do not love him because we expect to be romanced while wearing a saree on Swiss mountains, or dance in the rain, or being jet set to Europe for a holiday either. 


We love him because he is an actor who portrays softer and vulnerable characters. He is not the macho guy nor is he the perfectionist. He is the one in between who is giving us the balance that is closer to what we need. He is the actor who decided that if he couldn’t change the pay gap in the industry, he could do what is in his control - make sure that actress’s names appear first on screen giving them the show runner position. He is also the actor who shares a much bigger chunk of screen times with his heroines.

He is the dependable guy who will stand by you and tell you everything you need to know. He is not afraid to wear his heart on his sleeves. He may not be able to beat up anyone who bothers you, but he’ll probably take the beating for you to protect you. He is the one who will treat you like a queen not only while wooing you, but also once you ‘happily ever after’ begins. He’ll earn a living for you or he’ll help you cook and clean depending on what you want from him. He is the guy who will carry your dress’s trail to keep it from getting dirty or to save you from tripping because of it.



Though there are some situations from his movies that does add to the overall idea of his brand of romance - like Raj from DDLJ showed me that I could get rip-roaring drunk in a foreign country and still be safe with the right guy. But the overall brand is much more than the stories… It is what SRK brought to them. Whether it’s that manic love of Rahul in Darr or dreamer Rahul in DTPH - the intensity is in the eyes. Those eyes show the rage, the confusion and the sadness reeling us in to whatever character he is playing. He is rarely the white knight in shining armour... he is the next door boy who would have scraped their knees right alongside you, seen your snots and loved you anyway.

For years, SRK has transported us to a whole different world, with his expressive eyes and sensuous smiles, whenever we watched one of his performances. And that is why even with movies that have disappointed us, we keep going back.



Somewhere along these years I have come to expect that look that says 'I See You', that hand hold that says 'I have your back', those actions that say you 'I Love You' and that presence that promises 'Forever'. 

And then when he is off-screen, he is just as charming and that just swoon worthy. You know I am right. The well-read actor behind all these characters just appeal to the bookworm in me. The well-spoken star off-the screen appeals to the introvert person that I am. He changes the energy in any room he walks into. The witty person at interviews woos everyone with his own words. 

What I am trying to say is that it is not just his movies. It is what he brings to the characters on screen and the person we see off-screen too. It is the fact that he taught us not only to love and romance, but also to demand respect and learn to dream big dreams. It is not fleeting and it isn’t convenient, but it is the calm and constant through all the uncertainties of life. It’s the complete package... some call it a fantasy and I call it SRK's brand of romance.

It is why I refuse to accept anything less anymore.
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Monday 25 April 2022

#MondayBlogs :: Have you ever been a tourist in your own city?

April 25, 2022 2 Comments

 


I was born and raised (for most parts) in Kolkata. Yet, I did not know that Jorasanko Thakur Bari, the ancestral home of the Tagore family, was just an hour away from my home. I have never been to Kumartuli or to the Marble House Palace.

Yeah, we tend to take it easy, thinking we have all the time in the world to explore these places as they are so close to home. Do we though?

As someone who spent a good part of her life in Kurseong & Darjeeling for school & college… The hills are my second home. Yet, the first time I rode the Toy Train was in my final year of college when my group of friends made it a part of our day out. Joy rides on the Toy Train was what tourists do, not locals! Yet I had never been to Gangamaya Park or Rock Garden or Batasia Loop. I had never been to the Dali Monastery or Ghoom Monastery or Tinchuley Village. Till date I have not ridden the North Point Ropeway which a stones throw away from where I lived for 3 years during my college days.


Last year, when I came to Darjeeling, it was after 13 long years and it took a friend visiting from Siliguri for me to finally visit the Gangamaya Park and the Rock Garden. I was surprised how near it was and sad that I had not visited those places before. Since pandemic wasn’t over yet back then, I did not venture out of the town much.

This year though I have made it a point of going out on most Sundays and visit places that I haven’t been to and some places that I wanted to revisit. So far I have been to Lamahatta, Mangpoo, Mirik, Kurseong and finally made a trip to the Dali Monastery and Batasia Loop.

Each of the places I have visited, whether on my own or with someone, has surprised me and I kept asking myself, why the hell I hadn’t visited these places before. Limited finances of student life did come to mind, but we spend hundreds in a day to watch a movie and splurged on cold drinks and popcorns - amount of money that would have been sufficient to travel to these places in those days.

Beautiful eco park, serene little hilly village, and popular tourist traps - but they all had breathtaking views and a serenity that I love but miss in my city life. To take a day and be out in the nature was refreshing.


Now you may say, ‘but DD, I live in a metro/city and it’s all a concrete jungle, where do I find nature here?’

Well, I know I will try and visit the places I have lived an hour away from all my life but literally had no idea of their existence before when I go back to Kolkata. A museum, an author’s birth place, a zoo… whatever it is, I encourage you to go out and be a tourist in your own city. See the places you haven’t been to - unless you do you will not know what you are missing (or not missing). Try to see them from an outsider’s point of view. If nothing else, it will break the monotony of your routined lifestyle. The shopping malls, the movie theatres and the restaurants are not going anywhere. 

Try and be a tourist in your own city/town!
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