Anicca

I think this year is all about trying out new things for me. This year I made New Year Resolutions for the first time. And now I am going to try another new concept, something that has been around for a while, but I am going to try for the first time – Word of the Year!

I first came across this concept on One Word 365 quite some time back. One Word 365 is more than a new way to approach resolutions. Choose one word to focus on through the year. There are no specifics other than commitment to keep your focus and follow through on the word you choose for yourself.

My Word of the Year for 2021

After much consideration I have decided to choose the ‘Strength’ for myself in 2021.

Definition of Strength:

1. The quality or state of being physically strong.

2. The capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.

3. A good or beneficial quality or attribute of a person or thing.

At first I considered Perseverance for 2021. But then realised that I have been persevering through the last few years and I need to do more than that this year. At 37, I am starting over. A new life without the old habits and influences. With the changes that I am looking to make in my life, things are not going to be easy. And, I will need Strength the most in moving forward. 

• Strength to stay healthy.
• Strength to move forward.
• Strength to stick to my resolutions.
• Strength to take care of my anxiety.
  
  

Do you have a WOTY for 2021?

My three-year-old daughter drives me crazy with her activities and it is a daily thing in our home. And many a time, to my surprise, what I tell her is, “good girls don’t behave like this.”

But first, let’s see the common characteristics of Good Girls:

Living for others: The main and the most important characteristics of a Good Girl that she lives for others; her whole life is devoted to others, especially to her husband and in-laws. 

Being what others want you to be: A Good Girl is what others want her to be, especially the men in her life, obedient, submissive, and happy (nothing wrong in being happy, however here happy means looking happy not being), always available to serve others, and the list goes on and on.

“Me” is on the back foot: This is interconnected with the first point; her own self is served at last. She is never her own priority. Even if she looks nice and happy, it’s because to gives comfort to someone else. Not for her own good. 

Compelled to behave like this for others' approval: Her behavior is always aimed to please others, get their approval, especially from the opposite gender. 

She Avoids Drama: A Good Girl hates drama, not because of her personal dislike towards it, rather to provide comfortable surroundings for men. 

She’s Not the Jealous Type: She is never the jealous type, not because she has overcome jealousy. It is just to make sure her man can be comfortable with others, and most importantly, to avoid drama. 

She’s All About Compromise: A Good Girl is synonymous with Compromise. Her whole life is a compromise and she is proud of it. 

She Takes Pride in Her Appearance: A Good Girl is always aware of her beauty and makes sure she looks nice all the time. Again, this is not because it is her choice, rather make sure when her man sees her; he sees a beautiful, happy face. 

Humor: She has a great sense of humor, never cracks stupid jokes, doesn’t laugh loudly, always has a happy persona, and makes sure to never miss the chance at laughing at her man’s not-at-all funny jokes. 

Down-to-Earth: Good Girls are down to earth, even if she is a rocket scientist. Now being Down-to-Earth is not a bad quality, however, for a good girl, the reason is not to come across overachiever or over-educated to her male counterpart. 

She keeps only positive, uplifting people in her life: Now, last but definitely not the least, A GOOD GIRL IS A ROBOT. She is all positive, doesn’t have a single shred of negativity, always happy, loving, serving, compromising, and definitely not a human.

Now back to the main question, why do we love our good girls?

The answer is simple; in a male-dominated society (created by both men and women) a Good Girl serves men's need to feel superior and comfortable (and many more, directly or indirectly). And who doesn’t like to be served?

Lastly, I want to finish with a thought…

“You can't put everyone before you and call that love”

Are you ready for 2021?

Every year I see people making New Year Resolutions and then joke about how the resolutions do not even last a day or a week or a month. And when people asked me, I usually responded with - read more books. In my mind though I always think, next year I hope I get to do this or that – they are always related to books or travel or learning new things.