Extroverts... A Guide on How to Be Quiet - #MondayBlogs
Somewhere along the way, silence became a problem to be solved. Sitting alone at a party? Someone must come to your rescue. Not participating in a group activity? Clearly, you need encouragement. Quietly enjoying your own space? Oh no, we can’t have that. Because in a world that glorifies constant interaction, stillness is mistaken for loneliness, and solitude is seen as a cry for help.
As an introvert, I’ve spent years dodging well-meaning but relentless attempts to make me more social, as if my natural state is something to be fixed. At social gatherings (the ones I can’t avoid, anyway), I’m perfectly happy sitting in a corner, observing, or simply existing without feeling the need to contribute to the collective noise. But that’s rarely an option. Someone always thinks they’re doing me a favor by dragging me into a conversation, a party game, or—worst of all—to the dance floor. Because in their mind, I can’t possibly be enjoying myself if I’m not talking, moving, or otherwise proving my engagement.
It’s exhausting. And frankly, it’s time for a perspective shift.
This blog post isn’t about how introverts can “come out of their shells.” It’s not another list of ways we can learn to navigate a world that never stops talking. We have enough of those already. No, this is for the extroverts—the ones who thrive on energy, who can’t stand silence, who equate stillness with boredom, and who feel the need to fill every moment with noise.
Let’s flip the script. What if, instead of pushing introverts to be louder, extroverts learned to be quieter? What if you discovered that peace exists beyond constant conversation? That silence doesn’t need to be awkward, and not everyone is desperate to be included?
This is your guide to embracing the lost art of silence and, more importantly, learning when to just let introverts be.
No, We’re Not Broken: Myths About Introverts
For some reason, introversion is often treated like an unfortunate condition—something that needs to be fixed, managed, or overcome.
“You should speak up more!”
“You just need to get out more...”
“You’d have more fun if you joined in!”
“You just need to come out of your shell!”
These are the well-meaning but utterly exhausting phrases introverts hear all the time.
So, let’s set the record straight. Here are some of the most persistent myths about introverts—debunked, once and for all.
1. Introverts are just shy.
No, introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Shyness is about fear of social judgment, while introversion is about energy. An introvert can be completely comfortable speaking in front of a crowd and still want to go home afterward and sit in silence for three hours.
2. Introverts don’t like people.
We like people. We just don’t like all people, all the time, in all settings. There’s a difference. Introverts value deep, meaningful connections, but the idea of filling every silence with small talk is pure torture.
3. Introverts don’t have fun.
Just because we don’t express excitement the same way extroverts do doesn’t mean we’re not enjoying ourselves. We don’t need to scream, jump, or dance to confirm that we’re having a good time. Sometimes, the best kind of fun is sitting in a quiet café, reading a book, or having a one-on-one conversation that doesn’t involve yelling over loud music.
4. Introverts are bad at socializing.
Introverts can be great at socializing. They just do it differently. Instead of bouncing from one person to another, they prefer quality over quantity—fewer interactions, but deeper ones. Also, they don’t believe in talking just for the sake of talking. Silence is perfectly fine, and no, it’s not awkward.
5. Introverts need to ‘come out of their shell.’
This is probably the most frustrating myth of them all. There is no “shell.” This is our personality. An introvert sitting quietly in a group isn’t waiting to be “saved” from themselves. They’re just… fine. Imagine that.
6. Introverts don’t like attention.
Not necessarily true. Some introverts love being in the spotlight—on their own terms. Many actors, musicians, and public speakers are introverts. The difference is, they need time to recharge afterward, whereas extroverts might thrive on the attention and seek more of it.
7. Introverts can’t be friends with extroverts.
Introverts and extroverts can be great friends—as long as there’s mutual respect. The key is understanding that introverts don’t always want to hang out, and that’s not a sign of disinterest. Sometimes, silence is just our way of being present. Almost all of my close friends are extroverts - they understand that I'd rather just observe than participate.
8. Introverts are always quiet.
Oh, we can be very loud—when we actually have something to say. Give an introvert a topic they’re passionate about, put them with the right people, or just catch them in the right mood, and they’ll talk your ear off. The difference? We don’t feel the need to fill silence. If there’s nothing important to say, we’re perfectly happy just existing in the moment.
Now that we’ve cleared up some misconceptions, let’s move on to the real challenge—helping extroverts embrace quiet and resist the urge to fix what isn’t broken.
Silence Isn’t Awkward—You Just Don’t Know What to Do With It
Let’s talk about silence. That vast, terrifying void where no one is talking, no music is playing, and—heaven forbid—no one is performing social energy exchanges every five seconds.
For some people, silence is peaceful. For others, it’s an unbearable abyss that must be filled with noise, chatter, or the first random thought that pops into their head (“So, uh… crazy weather, huh?”). If you fall into the second category, I have news for you: silence is not the enemy. You’ve just never learned how to sit with it.
Think about it. When was the last time you sat with someone in comfortable silence? No checking your phone, no feeling the urge to fill the gap, no background noise—just existing in the same space without pressure. If that idea makes you itch, then congratulations, you’ve just found your next personal growth challenge.
The truth is... silence only feels awkward if you believe it should be. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s just another form of communication—one that introverts are fluent in. Sometimes, the best moments aren’t the ones crammed with endless words, but the ones where you can just be.
Now, if you’re wondering, “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with silence?”—don’t worry, we’re getting there. Up next: a few practical tips on how to embrace quiet, respect introverts’ space, and maybe, just maybe, discover the joys of shutting up every once in a while.
How To Be Quiet (Without Exploding):
So, you’ve made it this far. You now know that introverts aren’t secretly miserable in silence, and you’ve accepted that not every moment needs to be filled with words. Great progress! But what now? How do you actually do quiet? How do you resist the overwhelming urge to fill every silence, drag introverts into activities, or—let’s be honest—just keep talking?
Don’t worry. I got you. Here are some practical ways to embrace quiet and, in turn, become the kind of extrovert that introverts actually enjoy being around.
1. Learn to sit with silence.
I know, I know. Silence feels weird at first. But instead of rushing to fill it, try sitting with it. Let a conversation pause without scrambling for a follow-up question. This maybe a perfect time to 'reflect' internally. Trust me, it won’t kill you.
2. Stop assuming quiet = uncomfortable.
If an introvert is sitting alone, they’re not silently begging you to rescue them. If a conversation has a lull, it doesn’t mean the vibe is ruined. If you let go of the idea that silence is awkward, you’ll realize it’s actually… peaceful.
3. Don’t force social activities on introverts.
Look, we get it—you love a good party game, group activity, or spontaneous karaoke session. Good for you. But if an introvert is clearly not interested, let them be. Stop with the “Come on, just try it!” If they wanted to, they would.
4. Lower your volume.
This one is simple. Just… talk a little softer. Not every conversation requires maximum enthusiasm, vocal projection, and hand gestures that could knock over a drink. Sometimes, a calm, normal-toned conversation is enough.
5. Respect the “Irish Exit.”
You know that moment when an introvert just disappears from the party without saying goodbye? That’s called an Irish Exit. And no, it’s not rude—it’s survival. If they’ve had enough socializing for the day, respect it. No dramatic “Where are you going?!” Just let them slip away in peace.
6. Be mindful of personal space.
Some extroverts love physical touch—hugs, shoulder pats, leaning in close. Introverts? Not always. Before you invade an introvert’s bubble, read the room. If they stiffen up when you go in for a hug, maybe… don’t.
7. Give introverts time to warm up.
Introverts don’t always jump into conversations with the same energy as extroverts. Instead of bombarding them with questions or expecting instant engagement, let them ease into it. The more comfortable they feel, the more likely they are to actually want to interact.
8. Accept that “No” is a complete sentence.
If an introvert declines an invitation, don’t push. Don’t guilt-trip. Don’t launch into “But why not? It’ll be so much fun!” Just accept the answer and move on. They’ll appreciate you for it.
9. Text first. Always.
Before calling, or video calling, or just showing up, send a text. Give the introvert a chance to mentally prepare. Unannounced social interaction is a crime against introverts, punishable by days (or even months) of avoidance.
10. Try doing something quiet for a change.
Instead of planning yet another loud, high-energy gathering, try a low-key activity—reading in the same room, watching a movie without constant commentary, or just taking a quiet walk. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about changing who you are. It’s just about recognizing that not everyone thrives in constant noise and interaction. Respecting introverts’ need for quiet isn’t just about making them comfortable—it’s also a chance for you to experience a different kind of peace.
So, take a deep breath. Embrace the silence. And maybe, just maybe, learn to enjoy the sound of nothing.
