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Showing posts with label Social Awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Awareness. Show all posts

Wednesday, 15 September 2021

I am a Man - #MyFriendAlexa

September 15, 2021 1 Comments

Recently I came across a video by an alcohol brand where actor Sanjay Dutt is promoting the right kind of Masculinity (read Toxic), urging people to consume this particular alcohol, and become a real man.

The video is so toxic and stereotypical that even the most stereotypical men will find it offensive.

Now the point is, we all talk about female stereotypes, we all fight it in our own way (I hope we all do). But face it, female stereotypes are the real issue, but we also need to address the other elephant in the room, the male stereotypes. They are so interconnected that we can’t move forwards without addressing both issues.

According to various analysts and researchers, male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. 

The most popular stereotypes of male characters are:

The Joker: The funny who no one takes seriously, he is there just for the comic relief, most importantly, no girl wants to date him.

The Jock: He is athletic, muscular, date the sexiest girl, is usually dumb, and sucks at studies.

The Strong Silent Type: He exudes strength by taking action without expressing or worrying about their emotions. He loves to deny his emotions and feelings. Denial is his poison. 

The Big Shot: These are the people who think they are mighty or they are acting like they are better than everybody else when in reality they are not.

The Action Hero: This is the one with a savior complex. It’s his job to save someone, especially a girl. We see them everywhere with their inflated muscles and egos. 

The Buffoon: Commonly described as a bungling father figure. They are usually well-intentioned and light-hearted, however completely hopeless when it comes to parenting, dealing with domestic or career issues.

However, when we dig dipper, one common theme in all the stereotypes are 
“be a man, suck it up,”

Let us see what are the most common male stereotypes:

Vulnerability: The biggest stereotyped male behaviour is showing Vulnerability. Hey are suppose to be the MAN, can’t ask for help, can’t show fear, he will not express his love, in short, a robot with muscles.

And when they actually ask for help, they have penalized for the challenge of this notion.

Emotions (Sadness): The only emotion a man is allowed to show is his anger. In various cultures, men are socialized to be stoic.

And when they show any other emotion other than anger they are showed with amazing adjectives like being pussy.

Love for Sports: Men are supposed to love sports, especially the aggressive ones, like rugby, football, basketball.

Control their woman: A man have to be in control of his home, especially his wife. If one can’t control their wife, it’s a big shame.

Modesty: Men are expected to be proud of their achievements. Research shows that men who were more modest about their qualifications were evaluated as less likable.

Now, what we can do about it…

The simplest answer here is to teach our children to be more compassionate to everyone, celebrate men who dare to express their emotions, broaden gender stereotypical roles, most importantly do not gender police.

Let’s start this discussion with the wise words of Nelson Mandela,

“We slaughter one another in our words and attitudes. We slaughter one another in the stereotypes and mistrust that linger in our heads, and the words of hate we spew from our lips.” 

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

Monday, 6 September 2021

#MondayBlogs - It's time to clean up

September 06, 2021 1 Comments

“Wake up, wake up…”

The mighty husband is shouting.

I hate to wake up in the morning, especially on weekends. However, no one is bothered about it.

“Wake up, wake up… we have to go to Rishikonda, we decided, and you agreed”. He continued shouting.

Really, what I agreed to when I was in a good mood, cannot still be applicable on a Sunday morning at 5.30 AM. I DON’T THINK SO.

The mighty husband tried to kiss me, like I am some sleeping witch (I don’t like to call myself a witch; however I am sure that’s what he thinks about me). All I can feel is his mustache on my lips.

I am more annoyed than I was before.

“Please Wake up”.

I finally decided to get up, not for him, but to wear my new torn-off jeans pink shorts, which fits me only in the mornings.

We rode to Rishikonda Beach.

After reaching, he asked me whether I want to jog. The answer is a very obvious NO. And he took off jogging, and I am standing on the beach at 6.20 AM in the morning.

Someone, please suggest to me how to kill my husband without getting caught.

I decided to roam around when I saw a group of people who were cleaning the beach. And the OCD in me kicked in. I am a cleanliness freak, really I am, asked the husband, friends, and they can vouch for me.

And I decided to join them. I approach a serious-looking guy (later I came to know his name is Ramesh) and asked him if I can join them. He seemed happy to get an extra pair of hands.

And my cleaning journey started.

TheBeachcleanupclub (Silent volunteers): Thebeachcleanupclub club was started by 3 friends (Ramesh, Jitesh, Satyanand Prasad).

It all started when they went to the beach a day and got really annoyed with the plastic been piled up all over. Instead of blaming the government or the people around, they thought why don't we clean up the beach whenever it is possible for each of us.

The idea eventually transformed into weekend cleanup drives. It was a great thought working for nature, for the just two hours of our weekends.

We need to create awareness in people in terms of why the waste is been pumped up on the shore, 70% of the plastic which is been filled on the shore is from the drainage which dumps the wastewater to the beach along with the plastic waste. We need to educate people not to throw plastic waste like (Milk packets, oil packets, and other plastics) into the drainage in front of their houses, instead, they can store them and give them to GVMC people or to any recycling organizations so that they can make eco-products out of it.

We urge people around,
“We all live in this Mother Earth and we are responsible for the things we are doing around. Every single conscious initiative we take towards plastic usage would really make this world a beautiful place" 

TheBeachcleanupclub is not an organization or an NGO, we are a bunch of friends who took this decision to do better things for this Mother Nature.

We would love to expand our wings towards different activities like planting trees, educating children on this, etc. that way we all are going to make a huge difference to our environment.

And just like that, I am part of a group which actually is making a difference in their small way.

We clean various beaches in Vizag.

I made a very good friend name Srikant, he is kind of crazy like me. While cleaning, we chat all the time.

Apart from him, there is Ananda, who is super good at cleaning. Rosy, beauty with brain and I am pulling her legs all the time.  Ramesh, he is so serious all the time. Jitesh, he is so dedicated with some crazy hair.

We have collected at least 2000 beer bottles (I had no idea people drink so much), more than a ton of plastics, and many more items.

To sum it up, all I can say is, this is the very first time in my life, I look forward to waking up early in the morning that is also on weekends. This is a big improvement for a lazy-ass person like me. I look forward to the Sundays, meeting fellow beach cleaners, and continue making a difference in my tiny way.

Happy Cleaning

Monday, 19 July 2021

I am Fair and Not Proud

July 19, 2021 0 Comments

Not so long ago, there was an advertisement where a girl gets rejected from an air hostess’s institution for being too dark-skinned. And her father decided to take revenge. He made some sort of cream which made her skin fair. got the job. I think in the subtext, she even marries the company’s CEO.

And I have another one, this one is from last year.

The most talented Kiara Advani (the brilliant actress from Kabir Singh, who took her acting fee for a silent role and no acting) suggesting another girl use some fairness cream, and hence become worthy of “Kala Tika”. Apparently, it is not needed for dark skin people.

I am not criticizing advertisements; I just wish that life was that easy. If only having a fair skin tone could solve all your problems in life. Unfortunately, life is much more difficult, complex.

Hence, let’s talk about shadeism.

According to Baba Google,

“Discrimination based on skin colour, also known as colourism, or shadeism is a form of prejudice and/or discrimination in which people who share similar ethnicity traits or perceived race are treated differently based on the social implications that come with the cultural meanings that are attached to skin colour.”

In simple words, if you are fair life is better for you in some ways and if you have dark skin, only God can help you.

Here are a few examples of how shadeism works.

➨ I have heard multiple times in my life that my parents have to give a lot of dowry in order to get me married. Unfortunately, my husband didn’t even receive a penny. That’s what you get when you marry a feminist, no money and a lot of opinions.


➨ Between me and my hubby, I am comparatively lighter skin. When my daughter was born someone gave a compliment… well she thought it is a compliment that my daughter is lucky not to have her father’s skin colour. I was about to kill her (hormones), then I thought; I can’t survive in jail, and ended up telling her to fuck off in the most subtle way possible.


➨ In the recent past, someone called me exotic. Disclaimer alert, it’s not my husband, we are married for 7 years, adjective games are over between us. Well, back to the topic, here exotic is not at all a compliment. It is a subtle way to say you are dark yet fuckable.

The examples will never end, not for me, and not for any other dark skin person.

Now the question is, why?

The most simplified way to describe this is...

“In India, the words for fair and beautiful are synonymous”.

Most of the research suggests,  shadeism have their roots in slavery and colonialism. We Indians were ruled by fair-skinned Britishers (so-called civilized folks) for around 200 years. Even after the end of colonialism, this idea has been deeply entrenched into our minds, hence society. The concept that fair is equal to superior is so much ingrown in our mind that, it became practically impossible to overcome. This is the bitter truth even today, where George Floyd got murdered because of his skin colour. 

This is the unfortunate truth of our society. 

Hence the final thought, what needs to do? 

It is as simple and as difficult at the same time – we need to unlearn the black is a bad concept. And teach the same to our children.

In the end, what Martin Luther King, Jr. said…

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.”