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Showing posts with label Random Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Musings. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 December 2025

A Critical Defence of Taylor Swift’s Billionaire Status

December 31, 2025

 

Social media is inundated with the assertion that “no one should be a billionaire” and it has become a prominent moral standing among a vocal group of people on the interweb. The phrase raises legitimate concerns about wealth inequality, labour exploitation and concentration of power.

However, as with many slogans that gain cultural traction, its broadness and vagueness risks collapsing distinct forms of wealth accumulation into a single ethical category and in doing so, it often obstructs the very mechanisms of power that it seeks to critique.

The hullabaloo surrounding Taylor Swift’s emergence as a billionaire reveals a lot about this herd mentality which is rampant online and it is often accompanied by no amount of critical thinking. Taylor’s wealth has provoked a cultural anxiety that appears disproportionate compared to public reactions toward ultra-wealthy individuals.

The public outrage is not merely economic in nature. It is cultural and gendered. Taylor is not an oil magnate, a private equity executive or a tech monopolist. She is a highly visible cultural producer whose labour, persona and emotional expressiveness in forms of singing, songwriting and art are central to her public identity. The discomfort surrounding her wealth cannot solely be seen as opposition to inequality. Rather, in my opinion, it reflects unresolved tensions about women’s access to power, ownership and legitimacy within capitalist systems.

My demand is for analytical precision and critical thinking to prevail in this age of herd mentality and stupid but divisive “hot-takes” that sweep through social media.

Accumulation of wealth is not a morally uniform phenomenon and the process by which wealth is generated and the degree of labour involved, the transparency of accumulation and the uses of the accumulated wealth and power matters. Taylor’s case complicates dominant narratives about billionaires.


The Anti-Billionaire Rhetoric:

Extreme wealth at any point of time in the past, present or future is off-putting. The claim that extreme wealth is inherently immoral rests on the assumption that no individual can accumulate wealth to such an extreme degree without exploiting others. It should be noted that this assumption is often justified in cases involving resource extraction, financial speculation or monopolistic practices but the logic becomes less persuasive when applied indiscriminately.

Political economists often distinguish between different modes of capital accumulation. Wealth derived through rent seeking behaviour such as controlling access to housing, healthcare or natural resources operates very differently from wealth generated through direct labour and intellectual production. If we ignore this distinction, then there is no distinction between a George Lucas and a Elon Musk or a Mark Zuckerberg. If we ignore these distinctions, we are transforming the argument from structural analysis to a symbolic condemnation.

Taylor Swift’s wealth is overwhelmingly linked to monetization of intellectual property she helped create. Her dominant income streams include album sales, touring, licencing and publishing her art which is directly tied to cultural consumption rather than essential goods or coercive market control. Obviously, this does not render her wealth morally pure but it does situate it differently from other forms of wealth accumulation that rely on scarcity, dispossession or systemic harm.

Opposition to inequality requires specificity and critical analysis. Otherwise, without specificity, moral outrage becomes performative rather than transformative in the long run.


Taylor Swift’s Cultural Production:

One of the defining features of Taylor’s career is the visibility of her own labour. Unlike many wealthy individuals whose work is abstracted behind corporate structures, Taylor’s labour is public and ongoing. It is not an accident that she has achieved this level of success. She writes her music, performs extensively (is a fan of over-delivering) and maintains creative involvement across all her work. Nobody else was baking cookies for their fans and having secret hang-out sessions and opening up their hearts the way Taylor has continued to do.

The Eras Tour exemplifies this labour-intensive model. The tour was not merely a revenue generating enterprise but a physically demanding performance that requires endurance, rehearsal and emotional presence. The tours impact includes employing thousands of workers and contributing significantly to local economies which complicates the narratives that frame her wealth as purely extractive. Additionally, her model of – "if the tour does well, everyone involved gets paid more" should set a precedence in the entertainment industry!

Cultural labour is often undervalued precisely because it is associated with pleasure and emotion. The assumption that creative work is less than industrial or technical labour has historically been used to justify its under-compensation. Taylor’s success threatens the entertainment industry as it challenges this hierarchy by demonstrating that cultural production can generate enormous value when creators retain control over their work.

To dismiss her wealth without acknowledging the labour, creativity and hard work behind it reinforces the very devaluation of artistic work that critics of capitalism often seek to dismantle.


Ownership as Resistance:

The most significant factor distinguishing Taylor from other ultra-wealthy figures is her approach to ownership. The sale of her masters without her consent exposed a structural vulnerability faced by artists within the music industry. Taylor Swift engaged in a strategic market-based intervention and re-recorded her catalogue.

Economically, it devalued her original masters while legally operating within existing contractual structures and culturally, it reframed ownership as a site of resistance rather than resignation of your fate. Taylor’s public declaration and acts of reclamation established a precedent that will forever influence industry norms.

This is a prime example of how Taylor did not reject the market; instead, she used it to correct an imbalance of power. She demonstrated her agency within capitalist systems and expanded it through knowledge, leverage and collective support. Her resulting wealth is not merely the outcome of market success but the by-product of an intervention that challenged exploitative norms.


Gender, Ambition, and Moral Scrutiny:

The outrage and reactions to Taylor Swift’s billionaire status cannot be disentangled from gendered expectations surrounding ambition. It is a truth universally acknowledged that women who pursue power are more likely to be perceived as unlikable, manipulative or morally suspect which is not the case for men with identical behaviours.

Taylor’s career trajectory has been marked by strategic decision making, brand management and her continued vulnerability and ability to express herself and her emotions in a way that marks her as a brilliant storyteller. Her career trajectory has increasingly positioned her within a traditionally masculine domain of authority.

The discomfort provoked by her wealth has disrupted the cultural framework through which she was initially understood which is as a confessional songwriter whose value lay in emotional transparency rather than strategic competence.

Emotional expressiveness is tolerated and even celebrated in women, so long as it is not accompanied by structural power and Taylor’s refusal to be boxed within these distinctions and her refusal to choose between vulnerability and ambition challenges this age-old stereotype and binary.

Criticism framed as economic concern often masks deeper anxieties about women who refuse to self-limit. The demand that she justifies, apologises for or redistributes her success reflects expectations that women temper achievement with humility. Where are these demands for George Lucas, Steven Spielberg or James Cameron?


The Demand for Relatability:

Taylor Swift’s wealth destabilizes the concept of relatability which is a quality disproportionately demanded of women in the public eye. Her music has fostered a sense of intimacy with her listeners who interpret it as personal connection. When that perceived intimacy coexists with immense wealth, it produces cognitive dissonance.

However, relatability is not a moral obligation and it is a market construct that benefits audiences more than the artists. We will be conflating art with personal availability if we insist that Swift remain economically accessible in order to preserve emotional authenticity. Additionally, this expectation reflects a broader pattern in which women are asked to trade power for connection.

Taylor’s refusal to do so exposes the transactional assumptions embedded in audience attachment. It is evident that the audience forever wants a palatable version of you.


Philanthropy and Responsibility:

Supporting Taylor’s billionaire status does not automatically mean that I idealize her use of wealth. While she has made significant philanthropic contributions, no individual’s charity can offset systematic inequality and to demand that she solve structural problems through personal generosity misunderstands both the scale of the problems and the role of the State.

At the same time, Taylor Swift’s labour practices, including reported bonuses for touring staff and advocacy for artists’ rights suggest an orientation toward responsibility rather than indifference. These actions do not absolve her from scrutiny but they do distinguish her from figures whose wealth accumulation is accompanied by deliberate opacity or harm.


Conclusion:

Taylor Swift’s billionaire status is not a referendum on capitalism’s moral legitimacy; instead, it is a test of our ability to think critically about power without resorting to symbolic scapegoating. 

Taylor did not inherit her billionaire status nor did she accumulate it through monopolistic control of necessities; she did not detach herself from the labour that generated it. She was successful in navigating an exploitative industry, reclaimed ownership over her art and leveraged cultural production into sustained economic power.

If the goal of anti-capitalist critique is to dismantle unjust systems, then precision is essential. Blanket condemnation may feel satisfying and will get you clicks and likes but it obscures meaningful distinctions and reinforces gendered double standards.

Taylor Swift’s success is unsettling precisely because it resists easy categorization. It exists at the intersection of labour and capital, vulnerability and authority, intimacy and distance. Engaging with that complexity does not weaken moral critique; it strengthens it.

Supporting her billionaire status is not an endorsement of inequality. It is my refusal to flatten nuance in the name of ideological comfort and a recognition that who holds power and how they came to hold it still and will forever matter!


Monday, 1 December 2025

Why Rest Feels Illegal (And How to Rebel Anyway) #MondayBlogs

December 01, 2025

 It always starts innocently enough. You decide to take a break, maybe a fifteen-minute scroll through nothingness, maybe a nap that dissolves time entirely. Then, right on cue, the guilt slithers in. That itchy little whisper: shouldn’t you be doing something right now? We’ve turned idleness into a moral crime. Stillness feels dangerous, indulgent like eating ice-cream for dinner or ignoring an urgent email that probably wasn’t urgent at all. We even disguise our rest as productivity to make it acceptable:
“I’m recharging”
“It’s part of my creative process”
“Self-care Sunday.”


As if simply being needs a justification.


We live in fast-paced times where an individual’s worth is measured in output. In posts published, tasks checked, and in steps counted. So when you do nothing, it feels like letting yourself and the world down. Even rest now comes with progress bars. My fitness kept prompting me to “track recovery” alongside “track fitness.” Imagine that! You must perform even in your sleep. Somewhere between capitalism and caffeine, we absorbed this belief that stillness is laziness. That if you’re not moving, you’re falling behind. But behind whom, exactly? The answer changes daily. Sometimes it is that influencer with the perfect morning routine, sometimes it is a colleague who is thriving on burnout, and sometimes you beat that imaginary version of yourself who never wastes a second.

Doing nothing has become an act of defiance because to sit quietly, without producing, improving, or proving, is to reclaim your humanity in a world that monetizes every breath. Maybe the problem isn’t that we’re tired. Maybe it’s that we’ve forgotten how to stop without feeling like we’re doing something wrong.

Somewhere along the way, someone decided that rest had to be earned. Like it’s a prize you get for surviving your own overcommitment. You work yourself raw. Then once you’ve proven that you are suffering enough, do you get to sleep, to read, to breathe. We have to wait till the inbox is empty, the dishes are done, the to-do list resembles a battlefield cleared of enemies. And when we finally sit down, it is not peace that we feel. It is relief edged with guilt. Because apparently, we can’t even stop without a reason.

We wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. We compliment people for being “so busy,” as if depletion is a virtue. “I haven’t slept properly in days” has somehow become a humblebrag and an offering to the gods of productivity. Meanwhile, our nervous systems are waving flags of complete surrender.

What’s tragic is that rest was never meant to be a trophy. In nature, it is a rhythm. The tide goes out. The moon wanes. Even seeds stay dormant before they bloom. No one scolds them for being “unproductive.” But humans? We schedule burnout like it’s a recurring meeting. The irony is painful: we chase momentum but refuse to see that even motion has pauses built in. A heartbeat, a breath, a drumbeat… they all depend on space between sounds. Take that space away, and what’s left isn’t rhythm. It’s noise.

So maybe it’s time to stop treating rest like a reward for endurance. Rest isn’t what you get after you’ve lived. It’s how you live. It’s the pause that keeps the music from collapsing into chaos.

There’s a quiet kind of rebellion in closing your laptop while the world screams “hustle.” No fireworks needed. Just a simple act: choosing to stop. We’ve been trained to believe that rest is the absence of progress, that stillness equals surrender. But what if… just what if, stopping isn’t the end of motion, what if it’s the beginning of meaning?

Rest, in its purest form, is refusal. Refusal to be consumed. Refusal to perform with burnout as proof of value. Refusal to run a race no one actually wins. To rest is to say: “I’m still human, even when I’m not producing.”

That’s not laziness. That’s resistance.

Look at any creative or revolutionary life, and you’ll see the pattern. Artists vanish between projects. Writers retreat after the noise. Rest isn’t what comes after greatness; it’s what allows greatness to exist.

Agust D goes silent before a storm of music.
SRK disappeared for years, before delivering a comeback that will go down in history.
{Ofcourse I had to tie-in my two favourite men 😀}

There’s something beautifully subversive about rest that’s unapologetic. Not “I’ve earned this,” but simply, “I exist, and that’s reason enough.”

Here’s the cruel joke: we say we want peace, but we can’t stand what peace feels like.

Stillness, true stillness, is a confrontation. When the noise stops, the mind doesn’t sigh in relief. Instead it panics. Suddenly there’s space, and in that space comes everything we’ve been running from: boredom, anxiety, unprocessed grief, the sound of our own thoughts echoing too loudly.

That’s why rest feels wrong. Stillness reveals what we are trying to avoid.

We’ve wired ourselves for constant stimulation. We can’t even stand in an elevator without reaching for our phones. Our brains, marinated in dopamine hits and notifications, have forgotten the flavor of quiet. We call it “doing nothing.” Anything but what it really is: existing without distraction. It terrifies us, because we’ve built our identities around doing. Ask someone who they are, and they’ll tell you what they do. Jobs, hobbies, achievements. Rest strips that armor off. It forces us to ask: who am I when I’m not performing usefulness? So we stay busy to avoid ourselves. We call it discipline, ambition, drive… anything that sounds better than fear.

So, how do we rebel gracefully without giving up life?

You don’t have to renounce society, move to the mountains, or delete every app to reclaim rest.

You just have to stop apologizing for being human. Rest doesn’t have to look like lying in a meadow with your phone on airplane mode (though that sounds divine). It can be quiet resistance threaded through ordinary hours… a refusal to make every second productive.

Here’s how to start rebelling without burning down your life:

1. Schedule rest first, not last.

Treat rest like a meeting with your sanity. Put it on your calendar before the work, not after. If you wait till you “deserve” it, you never will.

2. Redefine success.
Try measuring your days by energy instead of output. Did something restore you today? That counts more than the number of emails you sent.

3. Take micro-pauses.
Tiny rebellions does wonders for you. Stare out the window for five minutes. Breathe without purpose. Listen to music without multitasking. Be unproductive with intent.

4. Let boredom breathe.
You don’t have to fill every silence. Boredom is the compost heap of creativity. Leave it alone long enough and something wild might grow.

5. Rest publicly.
When someone asks how your weekend was, try saying “I did nothing,” and resist the urge to justify it. Watch their face twist in confusion. That’s their system short-circuiting.

6. Remember the body knows before the mind.
If your body is screaming for rest, believe it. You can’t think your way out of exhaustion. You can only stop.

At some point, you stop chasing and start noticing. The light on the wall. The sound of your own breath. The way time expands when you stop demanding things from it. You realize the world doesn’t fall apart when you step away. The emails keep arriving. The projects keep orbiting. The planet keeps spinning, almost insultingly fine without your supervision. And somehow, that’s not depressing. It’s relief.

Because maybe the point was never to keep up. Maybe the point was to wake up.

The real power lies in knowing when to stop, and daring to stop anyway.

So rest. Not because you’ve earned it, but because you exist.

Rest because the world has enough noise, and your silence might just be the most radical sound in it.

Rest because you can.



Saturday, 23 August 2025

13 Taylor Swift Songs That Are NOT About Break-Ups

August 23, 2025


Taylor Swift’s NEW album is here, you folks!


THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL!


I mean, if you haven’t watched the 2-hour podcast episode yet, please find some time and watch it. The world embraced the sparkly orange, and only TS had the guts to do it when people in her country are already suffering under an orange power.

By the way, you probably know that Taylor Swift is often “accused” of writing songs about breakups. Yes, it feels like accusations the way the media portrays her music. The intent is always to demean her work because she mostly writes about love and breakups. Despite love being one of the most talked-about emotions, despite every other musician singing or writing about the same thing, it suddenly becomes unacceptable or too frivolous when it’s Taylor Swift?


Make that make sense, folks!


But hey, did you know TS wrote about other things as well?


If not, keep scrolling. We’re here to talk about thirteen (yes, 13) songs by Taylor Swift that are NOT about falling in love or breakups.


1.     1. Marjorie (Album: evermore)
Marjorie is the name of Taylor’s grandmother. She lost her when she was really young. She lost her when she was not in the same town. In an interview clip, Taylor mentions that she regrets not being around her when it happened. She regrets not knowing her and all of those emotions are poured into this song. It’s a deeply emotional song about her grandmother and how she still feels her and how she would’ve loved to spend more time with her and get to know her. Somehow, she even managed to find her grandmother’s opera vocals and put them in this song and that segment never fails to give me goosebumps.


My favourite lines: “Never be so kind that you forget to be clever, 
never be so clever that you forget to be kind.”


2.      2. this is me trying (Album: folklore)
In her Long Pond Studio Sessions, Taylor Swift talks to Jack Antonoff (they write songs together) about this song. They talk about how people with addiction and mental health illnesses are always in an active fight in their daily lives. The song depicts how the act of trying is almost a battle. Moreover, the song also talks about how someone who feels like they’ve lost it in life despite having so much potential in school years or earlier years. This song breaks my heart and is one of my most favourite songs of all time by TS.


My favourite lines:
They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that…”


3.      3. I Hate it Here (Album: The Tortured Poets Department)
If you have ever felt that you don’t really belong to this world and that you almost always want to escape into daydreams or in a world of imagination (like binge-reading or watching something), this song is the one for you. TS writes about being trapped in a body or a world where they cannot be what they really are and thus, need to escape to a different world. This is a song that will appeal to the introverts and hypersensitive people who are probably the more adversely affected lot due to the harshness of this world.


My favourite lines: 
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life
and I'll get lost on purpose
This place made me feel worthless...”


4.      4. Mean (Album: Speak Now)
One thing that Taylor Swift does best is turn her experiences into these superb songs that you can even dance to. In a few interview, she explains that she wrote this song ‘Mean’ about the critics who wrote about her albums by not giving any constructive criticism but just being mean. She was thinking about this powerless feeling of being at the receiving end of such mean comments from people no matter how hard she works. And then the song also gives an upbeat melody and lyrics that can fill you with hope about how all these mean comments will not affect her one day when she’s made it big.


My favourite lines: “S
omeday... I'll be living in a big old city
and all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
and all you're ever gonna be is mean.”


5.      5. 22 (Album: Red)
This song is so full of young energy. Although the title of the song very specifically is about the age “22”, what I feel from watching the music video is that TS wrote and sang how it feels to be in her early to mid-twenties, having a lot of fun and just enjoying life when you start to enter this new phase of life when you’re free from studies and have started earning. For some of us, this might even be the late twenties. Also, she’s surrounded by her female friends in this music video and even the lyrics is about how they’re taking a break from everything and just feeling young. In an interview, she mentions that she wanted to write how she was feeling while spending her summer with her friends.


My favourite lines: “We're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time,
It's miserable and magical.”


6.      6. You Need to Calm Down (Album: Lover)
Here’s something for all the haters. Taylor Swift gets a lot of negative attention on the internet despite having a huge following of Swifties who are hardcore protectors of her. Although, TS have stayed away from engaging with politics or mixing it with her music for a long time… this is probably one of the times we see her touching upon issues she feels strongly about. Apart from being a response to internet trolls and haters, this song hints at her support for the queer community and she also talks about how female celebrities keep getting compared to each other despite each of them having a massive superpower themselves.


My favourite lines:
And we see you over there on the internet
Comparing all the girls who are killing it
But we figured you out
We all know now, we all got crowns
You need to calm down…”


7.      7. Only the Young (from the documentary Miss Americana)
This song, played in the credits of the documentary Miss Americana, is like an anthem. In this documentary, and various other interviews succeeding it, TS expressed how young people get affected the most with all the terrible issues in their country like gun violence, stalking, healthcare, climate change, etc. So, this song was pretty much Taylor openly expressing her political beliefs and also revealing her support against the then President of US, Donald Trump.
My favourite lines:
They aren’t gonna help us
Too busy helping themselves
They aren’t gonna change this
We gotta do it ourselves...”


8.      8. The Man (Album: Lover)
It’s not a new thing that Taylor often gets a lot of headlines for reasons her male contemporaries are left out of the discussions. Drawing from her personal experience as a businesswoman and from the collective experience of being a woman, she wrote this song to represent how the society views men and women in a vastly different lens. Another political number, Taylor Swift smashes the patriarchy with her lyrics in this song and hey, don’t miss this music video (and of course, the BTS of making this video) on her YouTube channel.


My favourite lines:
I'm so sick of running as fast as I can
Wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man.”


9.      9. mad woman (Album: folklore)
Now that we’ve talked about how women and men are treated differently just because of the gender, let’s talk about this freakishly beautiful song that is all about how women have been labelled as “mad” left, right, and centre for ridiculous reasons. One of my most favourite songs, this carries the rage of all the women who have been called either angry or insane. Just go and tell me, if it doesn’t chill your bones.


My favourite lines:
And there's nothin' like a mad woman
What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothin' like a mad woman…”


10. Long Live (Album: Speak Now)
This fantastic song is from one of her earlier albums and the whole meaning of it has evolved ever since she first started performing it. As per Taylor, this song is dedicated to her band and the fans who have been there with her for years, standing by her side, as they scaled the wobbly heights of the music industry. Full of gratitude, this song is one of the best live performances that addresses directly to all the struggles of an artist but at the same time, being grateful for everything she has achieved. While she performs this song during the Eras Tour, it sort of also hinted at how she keeps manifesting the stardom she’s so in fond of.


My favourite lines: Will you take a moment?
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if, God forbid, fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine...”


11. Anti-Hero (Album: Midnights)
Ever had a bout of self-loathing? Well, this song is going to become your shadow then. Taylor explains in an Instagram post how we all have things we hate about ourselves. And this one particularly caters to that extremely unsettling and yet comfortable feeling most of us might have experienced.
My favourite lines:
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”


12. I Did Something Bad (Album: reputation)
The entire album of reputation has a huge lore behind it. In short, Taylor Swift received a lot of hate from the media in the years before this album for a lot of reasons. She disappeared from everywhere for a year. Came back with this banger of an album where each and every song is fueled by rage, frustration, and it shows how Taylor embraces whatever is thrown at her and turns it into the best possible songs. I Did Something Bad, if lyrics are decoded, refers to events in her life that aren’t so pleasant and where she’s painted as a villain for standing up for herself. Moreover, it is also speculated that quite a few songs on this album have references to the popular show on HBO, “A Game of Thrones”. This song is apparently about the Stark sisters, Sansa and Arya, plotting the death of Littlefinger. Oops, sorry about the spoiler if you haven’t watched the show yet.


My favourite lines: “This is how the world works
You gotta leave before you get left…”


13. Mastermind (Album: Midnights)
You know what’s the best thing about Taylor Swift? If you listen to a song enough number of times and really listen to the lyrics and know the entire lore, you’ll probably end up finding references to love and breakups in most of her songs. And yet, the song might be about something completely different. Like, this one – Mastermind. It might seem like she’s talking about a guy but this song is more about how she’s demeaned on the internet for being a strategist… a calculative planner who loves doing all of it so much. In an interview, she also ends up saying that she was inspired for this song by a movie she was watching. I don’t remember which movie she was referring to. But even if you look at how she planned her Eras Tour and all of her Easter Eggs for her fans, she lives up to this image of being a Mastermind and how!


My favourite lines: No one wanted to play with me as a little kid
So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since
To make them love me and make it seem effortless
This is the first time I've felt the need to confess…”


So, there you go! And be assured that there are more songs by Taylor which are not about love or breakups. But hey, this list had to have 13. *wink wink*


Tell me now, which is your favourite Taylor Swift song that has nothing to do with a love story or a break-up?




Friday, 11 July 2025

A Story That Should Have Never Been

July 11, 2025


Some stories are written with ink on paper, while others are carved into the heart by time.
This one was never meant to be written. 


This post is inspired by the lyrics of 'Don't say you love me' by Jin, from the album Echo. It is partly based on true story & partly fictionalised. Which part is real and which part is fictionalised is for me to know and you to guess.



This story began like most stories people romanticise in retrospect: two college kids in love with music, mischief, and each other’s company. They were in the same class and were part of the same circle. They were always seen together; planning pranks and walking aimlessly for hours, laughing like time would never run out. And somewhere in the middle of a mountain trail, when he offered his hand to help her cross a ridge, she thought, Maybe I don’t have to do everything alone anymore.

That moment felt like a promise. Not in words. Just in the way he held space for her independence and offered care anyway. It cracked something open in her, something she didn’t know had been sealed shut since childhood.

They fell in love. Or she did.

The story should have ended long before it began to rot.

Unfortunately it did not. And so, after a few years of dating, they got married. And slowly, he stopped walking beside her. Not physically, no. He was still there in the literal sense. But  he had wandered off in every way that  actually mattered. He left her to carry the weight of two families, a job, a home, and the growing silence in between.

He let her burn quietly. Gaslit her when their world struck her with words that wounded deeper than any slap. He watched, shrugged, and called it normal or denied everything and said it never happened. He said he loved her.

But love, she learned, doesn’t ask you to bleed quietly just to keep the peace of one person.

The breaking point wasn’t loud and did not come with announcements or guidelines.

It came when she fell sick and the fever wouldn’t let go for long months. He didn’t check on her. He didn’t help. He didn’t care. The man who once reached out to catch her on rocky mountain trails now wouldn’t so much as lift a finger when she was falling apart.

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.


And that’s when the lyrics came to her. Like a cold truth whispered through, Jin’s voice shining as always: 

Don't tell me that you're gonna miss me
Just tell me that you wanna kill me
Don't say that you love me 'cause it hurts the most
You just gotta let me go


Because if this was love, she didn’t want it.



Now, she feels… nothing.

No rage. No heartbreak. Just stillness.

She looks at that chapter like an old coat in the back of her closet — heavy, shapeless, no longer hers. She survived 15 long years with him. She can survive anything. She’s stronger. Sharper. More cynical, maybe, but also less willing to settle for anything less than real.

This story should have never been.
But it was.
And now, it’s hers to end... in truth, not in silence.




Friday, 20 June 2025

If BTS were Tarot Cards...

June 20, 2025


ARMYs have not seen the 7 together since the ‘Yet to Come’ concert at Busan on 15th October, 2022. Though they had their individual projects and a HELL lot of pre-recorded content to keep ARMYs busy - they weren’t together-together since the Busan concert. And BTS is 7.



They are set to reunite tomorrow, June 21st with Suga's discharge and to ARMYs it is a moment that they have been waiting for. Whether you’re a long-time ARMY or someone who’s just recently found comfort in their music, this reunion is not just about seven members coming back together. It is about the return of the Bangtan Boys who have inspired millions to dream, to heal, and to grow.


And what better way to honour BTS reuniting than with something equally symbolic?

The Tarot!

Tarot cards have always been about storytelling. For those who know nothing or very little about Tarot, here’s a short & relevant crash course. Each card in the Major Arcana represents a stage of the human journey: from naive beginnings to spiritual enlightenment. They are archetypes, mirrors of human psyche. The Bangtan members are no exceptions because at the end of the day, they are just like us. Each one of them bring something unique and irreplaceable to the group.


So, if BTS were Tarot cards, which cards would they be? What archetypes do they embody? What energies do they carry, both in their public personas and private evolution?

Let’s dive in. Let’s explore connection between the idols and tarot.

Kim Namjoon a.k.a RM


Card:
The Hierophant
Keywords: Wisdom, Structure, Guidance, Inner Truth

I see RM as The Hierophant. He is the spiritual teacher, the keeper of knowledge, the translator between higher ideals and everyday reality.

From the very beginning, Namjoon has played the role of a guide and not just as the leader of BTS, but also as a voice of reason and reflection. He’s someone who thinks deeply and speaks with purpose. Like The Hierophant, he takes abstract wisdom and makes it accessible for everyone. Whether it is quoting Nietzsche in interviews, unpacking the human condition through lyrics, or standing at the UN encouraging youth to speak themselves, RM channels knowledge into inspiration.

But The Hierophant is not just about intellect, he is also about responsibility. Namjoon has always borne the invisible weight of being the bridge: between his team and the agency, between BTS and the world, between tradition and rebellion, between vulnerability and leadership. He holds the group’s chaos with quiet grace. He leads not with ego, but with empathy. He listens. He evolves. He admits when he doesn’t know. And in doing so, he invites others to do the same.

Just like The Hierophant initiates people into a deeper understanding of life, RM has guided millions into self-reflection. He doesn’t claim to have all the answers. But he asks the right questions. And that’s often more powerful.

He is just the steady voice that says,
Keep going. You’re doing well.


Kim Seokjin a.k.a Jin


Card: The Sun
Keywords: Joy. Vitality, Warmth, Celebration

If Jin were a Tarot card, he’d be The Sun. He is radiant, bold, and simply impossible to ignore. The Sun doesn’t just shine, it also nourishes everything around it. And that’s exactly what Jin has done since day one.

While he’s often known as the “worldwide handsome”, what truly makes Jin unforgettable is his light. It is in the way he makes others laugh, the way he carries responsibility without losing his playful edge, the way he never lets the group take life too seriously. We can never forget the 20 year old Jin cooking for his brothers all by himself.

The Sun in Tarot is about showing up as your full self and radiating confidence not out of arrogance, but from inner peace. Jin embodies this. He’s the one who’s unafraid to belt a dramatic high note, wear a silly costume, or eat in his lives to encourage people with eating disorders to eat better. He reminds us that joy is a choice that we have to choose for ourselves.

But don’t let the brightness fool you. Like the Sun card, Jin has faced his share of darkness. Yet, even in uncertainty, he’s chosen to shine. His military enlistment marked the beginning of BTS’s temporary chapter apart, and fittingly, his return feels like the sunrise after a long night. Now, as BTS reunites, Jin re-enters not just as the eldest hyung, but as the heart of the group’s emotional rhythm. 



His light heals. It says,
We’re home.


Min Yoongi a.k.a SUGA


Card: Death
Keywords: Transformation, Endings and Beginnings, Release/Rebirth, Shadow Work

If SUGA were a Tarot card, he would be Death and no, not because he’s cold or distant (although he’d probably smirk and say “fair enough”). But because no one in BTS embodies transformation quite like him.

In Tarot, Death is not a card of physical demise, it is the archetype of powerful change. It asks us to shed the skins that no longer fit, to sit in silence with our shadows, and to come out the other side renewed. It is about facing truth without fear and turning pain into poetry. This is Yoongi’s superpower, don’t you agree?

Yoongi’s music often explores depression, anxiety, rage, trauma, and self-doubt, but not to romanticise them. He confronts, dissects them, dares to name every emotion. SUGA has never been about pretending to be fine. He’s about being real. The Death card invites transformation, and Yoongi has done this again and again: from underground rapper to idol, from BTS’s quiet producer to commanding soloist Agust D. Every version of him is a rebirth. He’s been through the fire, and he carries that alchemical power in his words, his beats, his gaze.

Even his presence in BTS feels like a quiet revolution. He doesn’t demand attention, but when he speaks, the room listens. Like Death, he brings truth to the table which can sometimes be uncomfortable, but is always necessary. And with that truth comes growth.

The Death card is not an ending, it is a passage. A necessary shedding before the next chapter. And with Yoongi, we’ve learned: endings can be beautiful. Especially when they make room for something even more honest.

He offers his fans a mirror,
Look. You’re not alone. You can survive this too.


Jung Hoseok a.k.a J-Hope


Card: The Star
Keywords: Hope, Healing, Light After Darkness, Inspiration

J-Hope IS The Star. He is the guiding light that appears when the dust settles, the soft glow that promises healing is not just possible, but inevitable.

It is right there in his name... Hope. But J-Hope’s optimism has never been just surface-level. It is not the loud, forced cheerfulness that avoids pain. It is something deeper, more enduring. Like, in the Fool’s Journey in Tarot, The Star shines after the storm after the Tower has crumbled, after the Death card has done its work. He’s the breath you take when you realize you did NOT fall apart completely. You’re still here. And so is the light.

Hobi’s energy has always been both grounding and elevating. On stage, he’s magnetic. He is a performer so precise that it looks effortless. Off stage, he’s the emotional glue, the vitamin that everyone gravitates to, the one who notices when someone needs a little extra warmth. He reminds the group and the fandom that joy is a radical act of self-preservation.

In Tarot, The Star also symbolizes authenticity and alignment. And J-Hope’s solo journey proved just how much depth lies behind that bright smile. His album Jack in the Box revealed shadows, questions, and creative fire. It is all the more beautiful because his hope has never been naïve. 

As BTS reunites, Hobi returns as the same bright soul, but with a new layer of wisdom (and fewer shirts?!!!). His military service marked a pause, but it didn’t dim his light. If anything, it made him steadier. Stronger in the best way. The Star card appears in readings as a sign that healing is near. That you are on the right path. That, even if you don’t feel it yet, the universe is gently aligning things in your favor.

That’s J-Hope. The steady hand on your shoulder. The spark in the dark. The quiet reminder,
 You’ve come this far. Don’t stop now.


Park Jimin


Card: The Lovers
Keywords: Connection, Vulnerability, Emotional Truth, Duality

If our Flirt King were a Tarot card, he would be The Lovers. It is for the very obvious reasons and also for the not-so-obvious reasons. Jimin lives and breathes connection. Emotional, physical, and spiritual. He doesn’t just perform on-stage, he feels, and he makes you feel too. (Ever tried pausing a video of Jimin dancing at a random place? Never not in perfect line!)

In Tarot, The Lovers is not simply about romance. It is about choice. Alignment. The courageous act of showing up as your full self. That’s Jimin’s gift. He opens himself up, soft and unguarded, even when it would be easier to hide behind perfection. And in that openness, he creates intimacy with his members, his fans, and himself.

Jimin walks the line between strength and softness like a dance. Just like he channels both the feminine and masculine energies fluidly. He’s known for his elegance, his ethereal voice, his almost-otherworldly stage presence. Beneath all that perfection is someone intensely human. Someone who doubts, questions, reflects, and still chooses to give love freely. That duality is the heart of The Lovers card: shadow and light, vulnerability and power, desire and self-awareness. He’s also the emotional barometer of BTS. He is deeply attuned to the feelings in the room. If someone’s hurting, he senses it. If someone needs comfort, he gives it, wordlessly, through a hug or a glance or that tiny, soul-piercing smile. His love language is presence.

When Jimin went solo with FACE, we saw him grapple with identity, heartbreak, and internal conflict; not with theatrics, but with raw honesty. That’s The Lovers energy too: confronting the mirror and loving what you find, even when it is complicated.

As BTS reunites, Jimin brings with him that same depth. He reminds us that love is a decision, not just a feeling. And that the bonds that tie us to each other, to ourselves are sacred, fragile, and worth fighting for. The Lovers is the card of true connection. And no one embodies that kind of soul-to-soul link quite like Jimin.

Jimin says,
Here I am. Will you meet me halfway?


Kim Taehyung a.k.a V


Card: The Moon
Keywords: Mystery, Intuition, Dreams, Emotion

If V were a Tarot card, he would be The Moon. He is he card of dreams, shadows, and everything that doesn’t fit into neat little boxes. Like the Moon itself, Taehyung doesn’t just reflect light. He refracts it, bends it, turns it into something entirely his own.

The Moon in Tarot is deeply emotional, often surreal. It asks you to trust your instincts, to navigate the unknown, to feel your way through the fog instead of forcing logic onto something that can only be felt. That’s Taehyung’s artistry in a nutshell. He is instinctive, moody, and rich with emotion even when the meaning isn’t immediately clear.

V is a walking contradiction in the most beautiful way. He is the one doesn’t ever do what he is told to. (just ask Jin & Hobi, will you?) He’s playful and brooding. Goofy and deeply philosophical. His voice is velvet and gravel all at once, and his performances pull you into some alternate world where everything is a little softer, a little stranger, a little more felt. Like The Moon, he invites you into the subconscious. He leads you towards your intuition, memory, dreams, and longing.

Even his fashion, photography, and solo work (Layover, anyone?) carry the hazy, poetic energy of this card. There’s nostalgia in everything he touches, a yearning for something just out of reach; like a dream you wake up from too soon.

As BTS reunites, V returns like moonlight after a long night. He is steady, silver, and still a little unknowable. But that’s the magic. He doesn’t demand understanding. He simply exists and in doing so, teaches us to embrace the parts of ourselves we don’t fully understand either. Because sometimes, healing doesn’t come from clarity. It comes from learning to move with the tide.

V says,
Follow the feeling even if you do not completely understand it yet.



Jeon Jungkook


Card: The Chariot
Keywords: Willpower, Determination Victory, Growth

If our Kookie were a Tarot card, he would be The Chariot. He embodiment of motion, momentum, and sheer unstoppable will. The Chariot doesn’t wait for the stars to align. It charges forward, fuelled by purpose and discipline. And honestly? That’s been Jungkook since day one.

From debut to global stardom, we’ve watched him evolve from the wide-eyed youngest member into a powerhouse vocalist, dancer and performer. But it wasn’t handed to him on a platter (none of the members were!). He earned it alongside his hyungs with long nights, relentless training, and a hunger to grow that never burned out.

The Chariot is about aligning opposing forces: inner doubts vs. outer expectations, fear vs. ambition; and mastering them to move forward. Jungkook has faced intense scrutiny for his perfectionism, and the pressure of being the “Golden Maknae,” and yet, he never settled. Instead, he kept learning, kept refining, kept becoming.

His solo era, especially with GOLDEN, was a full-blown Chariot moment. He was sleek, confident, and technically flawless. It was him taking the reins of his own narrative, not to prove anything but because the road was calling. Also, The Chariot isn’t just about ambition. It is also about control. Not the tight, suffocating kind, but the type that comes from deep self-knowledge. Jungkook has grown into someone who doesn’t just react to the world. Instead, he directs his own path through it. That’s victory. Not trophies and not the numbers.

As BTS reunites, Jungkook returns not as the youngest who followed, but as someone who leads, in his own way. Still humble. Still hungry. Still moving forward, but with more clarity than ever. The Chariot is a card of triumph, yes, but more importantly, it is a card of movement with purpose. And if Jungkook has shown us anything, it is this: no matter where the road leads next, he’ll meet it at full speed, eyes open, heart steady. Because for him, the journey is the victory.

Jungkook says,
I’m already on my way. Catch up if you can.



As BTS reunites on June 21, it feels like the Major Arcana has come full circle. Seven cards. Seven stories. Seven souls who’ve walked their own winding paths only to find their way back to each other, and to us. This isn’t just about military discharges or group schedules resuming. It is about the power of a comeback that the stars have been aligning for. The Tarot teaches us that no journey is linear: there are detours, deaths, rebirths, and revelations. And BTS has lived every one of them, not behind a veil of mystery, but right in front of us. With their hearts open and all cards on the table.

Each member carries their own archetype: RM’s wisdom, Jin’s light, Yoongi’s transformation, Hobi’s hope, Jimin’s emotional truth, Taehyung’s dreamlike depth, and Jungkook’s forward momentum. But together, they form something greater: a living, breathing deck of possibility, resilience, and human connection. And maybe that’s what makes BTS so special. They don’t just reflect the Tarot or an Archetype. They are a reminder that the universe keeps whispering through every song, every stage, every comeback for all of us:

“You’re not alone in this. Keep going. The story isn’t over yet.”


The deck has been shuffled. 

We are ready for the magic to happen.
Welcome back, BTS!






Monday, 9 May 2022

#MondayBlogs - You are too sensitive!

May 09, 2022


Have you ever been told - ‘You are too sensitive’ by people you consider as friends and family? That you over-react to things and situations?

If your answer is yes, then this post is for you.

If you have said it to someone close to you, then this post is for you too!


I went into therapy after I separated from my husband to be able to manage my depression, hyper anxiety and panic attacks. And man, did that open a pandora’s box. I discovered that I am an empath. That is also when someone told me that it is not good to be an empath because empaths give too much of themselves to and for others. That I should seek therapy to learn how to ‘turn it off’. And seek did I… Not to learn to ‘turn it off’ but to understand it. 

Granted, why I am an empath doesn’t have a glamorous backstory to it. In fact it is downright sad. But what I now say is, Empathy is my super power, and no super hero ever had an origin story filled with rainbows and unicorns, neither is mine.

Being an empath means that I feel strongly and deeply. Not only that, I also absorb the energies around me, whether positive or negative, and often lock it in my body. At first, it was extremely difficult for me to understand what part of what I am feeling is my own and what part of it is something I am picking up from the people around. I struggle with that still, but I am trying to learn to control it, so that I do not have to feel overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.

It took me a lot of therapy to understand that being able to feel deeply and strongly is not a sign of weakness. My feelings and emotions are my own and nobody has the right to tell me what to feel or how to feel or how much to feel. 

In the past have been told that I am too sensitive and that I over-react far too many times. 

Sometimes from a well meaning friend who wished me well, but mostly from people trying to gaslight me (and succeeding) in order to avoid taking a look at their own actions. To the point where I started taking it as a personal character flaw and beat myself over it till I was exhausted. I started wondering if it would be so much better if I did not care at all.

That is, till I was was prescribed anti-depressants and I spent a week feeling nothing. 

When I am happy, I feel that strongly too. I laugh. I dance. I celebrate and I am loud. Nobody complains then or tell me that I am over reacting… because everyone loves to have a good time. Yet, when I feel sad or hurt or betrayed, I am told I am being too sensitive and over reacting because it is too much work to even consider that I am human, I have a heart, may be hurt and I have a right to feel however I feel.



Photo Credit: Brighter Places

If you are someone who has told people that they are too sensitive, take a moment and consider… why does it bother you that someone cares and feels?

Take a moment to stop and think what you are really doing by invalidating someone’s feelings.

I want you to think why do YOU feel the need to invalidate someone else’s feelings and what does it actually do for YOU?

Chances are that you are avoiding to take a look at you own behaviour or statements.
Chances are that the sensitive person in your life is absorbing your energies and putting it back up as a mirror to you.
Chances are that you are the one who doesn’t have the capacity to understand what you are putting the other person through.

Maybe, it is time for you to take a look inward rather than outward. 



For those of you who have been told these gaslighting statements, remember that empathy is not a bad thing. Being sensitive is not a problem that needs to be cured. We need more of it in the world - the feelings, the understanding and the want to help instead of stone cold indifference & destruction.

If someone says these things to you, look at it for what they are. BIG RED FLAGS. The person saying these things maybe saying these to make you doubt yourself so that their actions are not closely looked at. They may even be manipulating you unknowingly - but that is what it is in the bottomline - manipulation.

Being a sensitive person in today’s world is a blessing to the rest of the population. We understand exactly. We care. And we are human. 

So, next time someone tells you that you are too sensitive… own it ‘coz you feel and care when others don’t. That makes you a much better person. We could all do with more understanding and sensitivity!





Monday, 21 February 2022

#MondayBlogs - Walk Away... #Gaslighting #Survivor

February 21, 2022

 



What does it feel like?

To be told that what you experienced moments earlier, never happened.
To be told that everything is only in your head.
To be told that you were being too emotional.
To be told that you were over-reacting.
To be told that you were the one forgetting things.
To be told that you were not good enough for anything.
To be told that you were too stupid to ever succeed.
To be told that you were a waste of space and a terrible drain on resources.
To be told that you couldn't take a joke after constant body shaming.
To be told that it wasn't their intention to hurt you while repeating the same thing for the 100th time.
To be told that it was your fault that you were hurting.

Everyday…
For months…
For years…
For close to a decade!

At first I fought. I took it up as challenge. I tried to prove them wrong. 
But how does one fight something that is being planted in their mind and doesn't actually exist? How does one win a challenge that shouldn't have been placed at all? How does one prove something that shouldn't need to be proven in the first place? 
And how long does one have to fight (alone) and keep proving things?

I am sure I knew the answer while growing up. But then I fell in love - Yes, Blindly! - and lost my way in the tornado that my life was. Constantly working. From the moment I woke up, till I crashed into my bed.

Working (from home) a job, handling a household and shouldering the responsibility and welfare of 6 other fully grown adults, day after day… Working up to 18 hours a day to deal with everything (and never less than 12 hours a day) to be able to take care of all the responsibilities that were suppose to shared by your life partner, (yet you find yourself handling them alone) - 7 days a week and 365 days a year is bound to have some effect on a human being. Everyone knows that, right? Apparently not everyone.

Cooking, cleaning, meetings, and promotional activities - constantly laced with comments and rebukes that aimed at reducing the family nurturer, the 'ghar ki Lakshmi' in to something less than a sentient being still happens in the 21st Century.

All that along with intermittent love-bombing!

You go into a shell - the survival mode. Always being prepared and trying to reduce any chances of triggering another round of 'how useless you are tirade'. You start to dim that spark, that is so eternally you, so that every one else is under the spotlight while you hide in the shadowed corner. You do not let the spotlight be ever on you - even though it is your story, your life! Shrinking into a ball, not taking up space and yet making it easier for people to kick around.

And should you dare to question it, i.e., if you still have some semblance of self left, and ask why - the society around you (some even in guise of friends) will gather to remind you that all you are good for is to keep your mouth shut, adjust and compromise. A 'failure of a being' has no right to ask questions. You only get to continue to try and prove your worth in exchange of being 'allowed' to breathe.


Would you consider stop breathing if that is the only way to end the hurt and pain?

Many do!

But there is another way… Stand up, break the invisible shackles and walk away! 

(read invisible shackles as: expectations forced on you by those close to you and the society; the constant self doubt drilled into you; the crippling fear you feel; the unshakeable belief that you cannot make it on your own; the anxiety of how could ever do anything right on your own; the mind blowing concept of what will people say… in short - whatever it is that is holding you back in a life that is slowly sucking your spirit out.) 


It is hard! The hardest thing you will probably do... When you finally have had enough, and realise that staying on will eventually kill you, much before your time; and when other people will reiterate that all you can do is stay and compromise. Try and remember, that there ARE people who will support you and help you... So, keep at it till you find someone who'll throw the life jacket when you are drowning. And then, swim... swim for the shore - your life!


And it starts getting better almost immediately.


Its been over a year since I walked out… And, now all I know is what it feels like…


To be told that you are strong.
To be told that you are a heck of a fighter to have survived.
To be told that you are worth more than ten of them.
To be told that you are loving and caring.
To be told that you have a right to take up space.
To be told that you deserve to have your needs met.
To be told that you are inspiring.
To be told that you have an amazing sense of humour.
To be told that you are a responsible person.
To be told that your are a logical and practical person.
To be told that you are loved.
To be told that you are seen.
To be told that you are cherished.
To be told that you are wanted and desired.



It is good for your body. It is good for your mind. AND, it is the most liberating thing for your spirit.





Wednesday, 22 September 2021

My Seasonal Lover - #MyFriendAlexa

September 22, 2021



My plane landed around 5 AM on an October morning in 2018. I am in a new city and I have to call it home for the next few years. I was happy to finally leave Hyderabad, but not sure what to expect from this new city.

I got my luggage and came out of the airport. I knew that nobody is coming to pick me up, still hoped to see a familiar face. Mr. Anirudh Gaurav said he can’t pick me up for some reason, I forgot the reason, however, remember I was mad.

A grey, gloomy and rainy city welcomed me with not much enthusiasm. I never disliked a rainy day like this.

I booked my Uber and patiently waited outside the airport. My Uber came and I started my journey into this new city. I more I entered the city, the more I hated it. I finally reached my destination, MVP Colony. Gaurav was there to receive me, but to my surprise, what welcomed me is the Devil’s Tree, in front of the hotel.

It was like Durga Puja welcoming me outside Kolkata. I was in love.

Gaurav left for work, and I began my hunt for a new home (rented house). I roamed every lane and every street of MVP colony. And on every corner, there was a Devil’s Tree waiting to tempt me with its smell. I was trying to get some flowers from the tree and some lady told me not to, as it is poisonous.

And in my mind, the smell of the flower is my poison. I don’t know how dangerous this is for asthma patients, but this is definitely harmful to me. It makes my desires run wild. No kidding it’s called the seductive Casanova of smells.

The smell would arrive every year, during Durga Puja (September end to October), and stay till December to wish me on my birthday. I reached this new city in October and thank God it was October. Otherwise, how would I know Devil’s Tree will be waiting for me with open arms.

The smell takes me back to my teenage years. Someone would be waiting for me and I was ignorant enough to ignore him. The smell takes me to my first love, first heartbreak, and first tears of pain.

Yet, this smell is so toxic for me that I can’t simply imagine Durga Puja or winter without it.

Then the unavoidable happens, by the time winter is over, the smell leaves me like a seasonal lover. I am heartbroken and missing my love. I try my best not to embrace the last hint of the smell, as I know it will leave me high and dry.

Yet how can I not, long for it as long it’s there, it’s like the forbidden lover. He is toxic, poisonous, going to leave me to suffer for sure, yet so passionate with his love and desires.

It’s been three winters. The air, the streets, and the people feel much more familiar to me now. I have made it a home, my Vizag.  

Yet on those lonely nights on my balcony, I long for my poison. I am madly in love with this toxic flower called Chatim Ful (in Bengali) and last but not least, a poisonous someone. It’s so difficult to reason with my feelings. What I know for sure is I want him. And he can't be mine, ever. A pain I endure with all my affection. 




I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.