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Wednesday, 11 September 2019

BDSM 1: A Guide to Breakup, Divorce, (fresh) Start and Memory

Let me tell you a story. There were once 4 women - each going through certain phases in their lives. These stories covers 4 such days in their lives. Many of you may be able to relate to these everyday incidents having lived through them yourselves. These stories are yours and mine:

100% true and lack any form of fabrication but has 100% exaggeration.

A guide to Breakup, Divorce, (fresh) Start and Misery


Divorce: Let us call her D!


D woke up with a start! Did she fall asleep again during the afternoon? Shit shit shit! The deliverable was due an hour back, what if she gets fired? Oh who cares! It's not like anyone stayed up beside her last night and hugged her when she was weeping and sniffling like an infant. Let them! Man O' man, she badly needs a coffee. Will her hotel have something strong and maybe, oh just maybe some chocolate cookies - D thinks as she twists her messy hair in a worn out black rubber band. Beside her email alert, her laptop shows a blank word document. D suddenly feels the urge to dump all that she was feeling. From her mind to the paper - she badly needed to unload - doesn't matter if the words no longer made sense - heck her life no longer made sense. She frantically starts typing......

Can I read this without cringing 10 years from now? Think, think, think! 10 years from now when you wake up in your house filled with a dog, maybe lots of books, a money plant and a bespectacled guy (maybe, a big maybe!), with a farrowed look on your face, reminiscing about the good ol' days and dig this up - will you regret reading this blast from the past? But then I am just following Dr. Phil's advice. Writing about your PTSD relieves you from your pain apparently! (bleh!)

We have now reached the juicy part of the story, WHAT THE HECK IS SHE WRITING ABOUT?

Well, I will tell you why. Because I got suddenly lost my exclusivity! My husband of 5 years suddenly stumbled upon some hot tamale (s) ( I know, there were multiple apparently) and found this plain ol' rice pretty tasteless! Come to think of it, Rice is the staple diet of 100% of South Asians so I wonder why someone would throw away something that is so stable and essential. Does rice bore everyone? Will you like biriyani/pilaf every day? Given a choice, it seems everyone would like biriyani/pilaf over rice. But then are we just consumers of human emotions like we consume food?

Think D, think! Damn that deadline on Materials Management! Suddenly her phone beeps, "You ok? Do you want to meet for a cuppa?" D takes a deep breath and writes "Yes please, the usual place?" Thank god for small wins in life like running into a kind soul in office kitchen counter and finding a friend for life.

10 years - come on D, all this will seem like a dream in 10 years time, she thinks as she tries to stuff her overweight body into her jeans.

For fun read: D in BDSM refers to dominance, the crux of a BDSM relationship. It's all about erotic power exchange, not one person having power over another.


 (fresh) Start: Let us call her S!


5-4-3-2-1 - S tried to get off from her bed. Her tired eyes protest against the effort. No! I don't need a fresh start! I want to curl up inside this stupid blanket and die! Her mind feebly tried to remind her of the great advice from Mel Robbins, LAUNCH YOURSELF LIKE A ROCKET!

Bloody hell! Who wants to get up at this god forsaken hour to go work out? Mel has someone to come back to - S is lonely and strives to be invisible. No, stop! S reminds herself - Remember! Start your day on a positive note. Shucks! She spoiled it again, didn't she - S thinks as she stumbles off from her bed and wearily makes her way to the boxing club.

S's muscles groan in protest as her trainer makes her run up and down the street. Huffing and puffing S thinks "Are all new starts this hard? Snakes can shed off their skin so easily but then caterpillars take ages to become beautiful butterflies." Her thoughts are interrupted with a bark from her trainer "What are you dreaming about, give me 20 push-ups". Ughh! She groans and starts her slow descent to pain. In a feeble attempt of motivation S tries the external validation route..."You will lose weight and look hotter to the guys in the gym!" But her brain was quick to jump in defense and reminds her "You are not even wearing your spectacles, can't even see if any guy is actually checking you out in the gym". Sighing S tells her screaming lungs "Oh! Just do it anyway!"

Come to think of it - hitting feels so good! Especially when S can land a punch on the tall guy in front of her. To all the naysayers in the world - she ain't done yet! S silently cheers for herself in her mind "Can you see???? I am still standing! None of you could destroy me fully. I am fire - I am a woman - I will reinvent myself every time you push me down..." S's string of thoughts breaks all of a sudden as she finds herself flat on her bottom with a look of pure horror in her face. Did she really slip in her own sweat while boxing in front of all these hyper-fueled muscular fit community of god bods? Man! Wish she could drown in her own sweat or shame! As her trainer extends his hand, S chuckles and pushes herself upright saying out loud, "I am still standing, ain't I".

"Man, a fresh start does feel good", S thinks as she continues with her boxing lesson.

For fun read: S in BDSM refers to Submission. It says, the true power lies with the submissive as he/she sets the actual boundaries in this exploration.


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Can some of you connect to some of these stories? If yes - do share similar snippets from your divorce or any stories of fresh start that you have tried in your lives. Would love to connect with you via your stories. Together let us weave a cloak of familiar stories for men and women who are unable to share theirs. On a cold and lonely night when they will be searching for heat, may our cloak of familiar stories give them the warmth they are looking for and help them realize:

You are not alone. We are the average (wo)man of this world and we stand tall and proud, even at 5.2.


Wait for my next blog on how B and M dealt with a breakup and (old relationship) memories.




I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.


90 comments:

  1. This is an interesting combination of 4 stories. Loved reading them.

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  2. Hey its amazing combo of 4 stories

    You have all potential to become a great writer

    Loved your writing

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    1. Thanks Anny for the kind words, just started blogging....Delhi abhi door hain dost!

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  3. Wow..!! nicely narrated. I have a very close friend who got out of an abusive marriage and the way she got back redefining herself, is just worth admiring,. Her lil girl is coming out as an amazing person as well

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    1. I am glad she was able to get out and make a life for herself and her kid. No one talks about struggles and triumph of women in similar situations - hope I can capture some of it.

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  4. An interesting take on 4 stories together. Waiting for the next part. #MyFriendAlexa #ShubhraReads

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    1. Thanks Shubhra - now the pressure is on. Just came back from a 10 days vacation, honestly didn't think the post would generate this much of conversation. Next part coming soon.....

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  5. This is something different in Alexa campaign...and interesting 😍
    #MyFriendAlexa
    #AditiReads
    aditikapur.com

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  6. Hahhaa! Your title itself caught my eye! Humorous and interesting post.
    Noor Anand Chawla

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  7. Nice little tales in the name of BDSM. I loved the humor part of it and could visualize myself in few protagonists

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    1. Yessss, you got it! BDSM to generate conversation and humor to make pain acceptable - isn't that our normal defense mechanism?

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  8. This is a very interesting combination for four stories.. can relate to so much of what is happening in the society today

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    1. Thanks Simrit....if you have any stories of fresh start that you feel comfortable sharing - do let us know.

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  9. Woo! What an amazing post! Blown! Very naughty with the titillating title, I see! Love your beautiful website D! Anicca rocks!

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    1. Thanks Kala, BDSM to generate conversation and humor to make pain acceptable. Website credit goes to my friend D, I am just manual labor ;)

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  10. Coming out of waste relationships is the most powerful thing one can do. Waiting for your next series.

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    1. Well said Geethica, we need to share such stories more. If you feel comfortable sharing any such stories from your life, do let me know. Would love to connect.

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  11. That is an interesting take with 4 stories in one. Will definitely visit your blog for the next in the series.

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    1. Thanks Jai. Now the pressure is on. Just came back from a 10 days vacation, honestly didn't think the post would generate this much of conversation. Next part coming soon.....

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  12. Very very interesting. Love your writing style and eagerly waiting for M and B!

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, M and B will be there to share their stories soon....

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  13. What an analogy u have drawn. It's wonderful. Your writing style is unique and the break up of a teale into 4 is even more amazing.. Loved it.

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    1. Thanks Supriti....honestly I am overwhelmed with the response. I just shared my thoughts - glad it turned into connection for so many.

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  14. What a brilliant combination of stories you have in one. will be back for the part 2.
    BTW loved the theme of your website, simple and neat <3

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    1. Thanks Gunjan, M and B will be there to share their stories soon.
      All credit to the web site design goes to my friend D, I am, as they say, manual labor ;)

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  15. that's a twist to the word, liked the story of D & S, look forward to read B and M version too. You have a unique writing style. Loved your blog.
    #PraGunReads #MyFriendAlexa #Blogchatter

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    1. Thanks Pragun, I love to do word play - passion since my childhood. In your imagination, every word can have a million door - you choose which one you would like to enter from - don't you think?
      All credit of the blog goes to my friend DDS, do check out her travel posts.

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  16. Brilliant piece. Waiting for the next post.

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    1. Thanks Swiddle, me too ;) Just kidding - M and B will be there to share their stories soon.

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  17. Very nice combination!!!! Waiting for the next series��

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    1. Thanks Trapti - M and B will be there to share their stories soon.

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  18. How beautifully you portrayed 4 stories together,yes I believe it's better to end marriage then be in abusive relationship.
    #millennialscribbler #myfriendalexa

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    1. Absolutely Asfa! We tend o drag the dead body of a marriage in the name of society and external factors. It's exhausting and someone should speak up.

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  19. intriguing.... a twist to tell ol tale.

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  20. What a catchy title and equally interesting post. Very well penned tales.

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    1. Thanks "unknown". Getting into the groove of sharing thoughts - a penny for your tale? (couldn't stop myself from making the pj)

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  21. This is a funny post with so much meaning mixed in! Yes, lets start the conversation...

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    1. Glad you liked it Brindha and was able to catch the mixed meanings in sooo many lines. Did you see the snake line in "S"'s story? Refers to transformation into good and bad. Yes, let's speak up about how society forces us to carry the weight of our dead marriages.

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  22. Oh wow. I loved your style how you do the introduction of each character is so gripping. #damurureads #myfriendalexa Damurucreations.con

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  23. Well...too hi-fi for me. But I'm not giving up. Once when all the posts are in, I'll drop by and read and all together. So... Get them out fast. Waiting! Btw...I like your writing style.

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    1. Oh no....sorry I wasn't able to connect with you via my stories. M & B will be out soon...it's just sharing some incidents of Divorce, Breakups, old Memories and trying to start Afresh. Glad you liked my writing style though.

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  24. That surely is an awesome read! 4 different stories yet all seem to have been quite normally seen in our society- whom we often pass through as normal.

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    1. Thanks Menaka....yes, we almost ignore them thinking that's between him and her,I shouldn't get involved. But so many voiced (especially us women's get stifled along the way). SO let's peak up and share our experiences, on how we or our loved ones handle Divorce, Breakups, old relationship Memories and are trying to start (a)Fresh.

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  25. Love the phrase "lost in translation" and have been down this journey myself, could relate

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    1. Pooja we all need to lose ourselves a little, to find ourselves again - wouldn't you say?

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  26. I am so happy that a real sensitive issue and topic you have shared so beautifully!!

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  27. Fresh start, everyday I guess. It's exhausting though to start back from sqaure one. 😔. Good stories though! I loved your imagination power and writing style 😊.

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    1. Change is tough but nothing hurts more than staying at one place. Glad you liked my writing style - if you feel like it share your story, would love to know about you

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  28. I am already looking forward to what comes next! You have a grear story telling style. Finding a friend for support in trying times is very difficult. Especially now that we are supposedly grown up. You can connect with me through social media if ur in need of a friend :)

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    1. Thanks GB :) I agree, as adults we are so busy portraying that we are all doing ok that it almost hurts. Thanks for the kind offer - having more friends is always welcome.

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  29. With your title I thought maybe it is some agony aunt kind of blog and only after reading I realised they are stories.Very well penned. #wordsmithkaurreads #MyFriendAlexa #BlogChatter

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    1. Agony aunt????? (fainted). Guess we have all played that role many a times in our lives - but nah girl! this is me speaking up about subjects that are still considered taboo, hoping to give voice to people who can't talk about their own experiences

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  30. I fell in love of your innovative way of writing!!!!well penned!!!

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    1. :) Thank you - I just expressed my thoughts via words

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  31. I accept BDSM as title took me by surprise and the content surprised me more. Well penned and analogy explained.

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    1. I acknowledge the title is well explosive but that's just the rebel side of me girl - if you read my bio, I am all but full of contradictions. Glad u liked the post

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  32. yes divorce, break up and broken relationship are sensitive subjects but you had handleded them so beautifully. loved your write up, waiting to read more! #Surbhireads #Myfriendalexa

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    1. Thanks Surbhi - hope to live up to your expectations :)

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  33. Lovely post! Someone in my family is presently having divorce issues, I really hope S for fresh Start does good for her. That's all we can pray for her.

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    1. Sorry to hear that Swarnali. Tell her it's ok to feel like shit but this too shall pass. I went through mine in 2015 - best decision ever. She will have her fresh start soon....just needs to be patient and kind towards herself.

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  34. Very well written! Awaiting the next post.

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    1. Thanks Charu, M & B coming soon with their stories....

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  35. I was awestruck to read the title first, BDSM ;-) however, it turned out a fun read.

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  36. How beautiful...amazing writing... I can't figure out even if d and s are fictional characters or real... Waiting for the next post

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  37. Wow!! How amazingly you have weaved stories on relationship. I felt as if i was watching a movie .Undoubtedly you are an amazing writer who can grab reader's attention from the first line itself.Commendable

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  38. That is such a brilliant story compilation. You are a great writer I must say.

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    1. I just express my thoughts - story apne aap ban jata hain...

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  39. This is so well written and totally relatable, we all know someone who is going through such a phase in life. Waiting for the next part :)

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  40. That’s intriguing read, love the combo of 4 stories, your writing style is unique.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment Bushra...just learning how to express

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  41. nice narration, looking forward to the part no 2

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    1. Thanks Aarti, sorry got caught up with work and haven't gotten around completing part 2 yet, coming soon though

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  42. what an interesting take on the 4 topics. i thoroughly enjoyed every aspect and well written
    #myfriendalexa #princyreads

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  43. Combination of 4 different stories at one place. And also all of them are different yet connected.

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    1. I am glad you were able to spot the connection girl

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  44. Very interesting. I loved the way you have combined 4 stories into one. Very creatively written.

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  45. Loved the way you have narrated the stories here ! Amazing

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