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Showing posts with label Social Awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Awareness. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 December 2025

A Critical Defence of Taylor Swift’s Billionaire Status

December 31, 2025

 

Social media is inundated with the assertion that “no one should be a billionaire” and it has become a prominent moral standing among a vocal group of people on the interweb. The phrase raises legitimate concerns about wealth inequality, labour exploitation and concentration of power.

However, as with many slogans that gain cultural traction, its broadness and vagueness risks collapsing distinct forms of wealth accumulation into a single ethical category and in doing so, it often obstructs the very mechanisms of power that it seeks to critique.

The hullabaloo surrounding Taylor Swift’s emergence as a billionaire reveals a lot about this herd mentality which is rampant online and it is often accompanied by no amount of critical thinking. Taylor’s wealth has provoked a cultural anxiety that appears disproportionate compared to public reactions toward ultra-wealthy individuals.

The public outrage is not merely economic in nature. It is cultural and gendered. Taylor is not an oil magnate, a private equity executive or a tech monopolist. She is a highly visible cultural producer whose labour, persona and emotional expressiveness in forms of singing, songwriting and art are central to her public identity. The discomfort surrounding her wealth cannot solely be seen as opposition to inequality. Rather, in my opinion, it reflects unresolved tensions about women’s access to power, ownership and legitimacy within capitalist systems.

My demand is for analytical precision and critical thinking to prevail in this age of herd mentality and stupid but divisive “hot-takes” that sweep through social media.

Accumulation of wealth is not a morally uniform phenomenon and the process by which wealth is generated and the degree of labour involved, the transparency of accumulation and the uses of the accumulated wealth and power matters. Taylor’s case complicates dominant narratives about billionaires.


The Anti-Billionaire Rhetoric:

Extreme wealth at any point of time in the past, present or future is off-putting. The claim that extreme wealth is inherently immoral rests on the assumption that no individual can accumulate wealth to such an extreme degree without exploiting others. It should be noted that this assumption is often justified in cases involving resource extraction, financial speculation or monopolistic practices but the logic becomes less persuasive when applied indiscriminately.

Political economists often distinguish between different modes of capital accumulation. Wealth derived through rent seeking behaviour such as controlling access to housing, healthcare or natural resources operates very differently from wealth generated through direct labour and intellectual production. If we ignore this distinction, then there is no distinction between a George Lucas and a Elon Musk or a Mark Zuckerberg. If we ignore these distinctions, we are transforming the argument from structural analysis to a symbolic condemnation.

Taylor Swift’s wealth is overwhelmingly linked to monetization of intellectual property she helped create. Her dominant income streams include album sales, touring, licencing and publishing her art which is directly tied to cultural consumption rather than essential goods or coercive market control. Obviously, this does not render her wealth morally pure but it does situate it differently from other forms of wealth accumulation that rely on scarcity, dispossession or systemic harm.

Opposition to inequality requires specificity and critical analysis. Otherwise, without specificity, moral outrage becomes performative rather than transformative in the long run.


Taylor Swift’s Cultural Production:

One of the defining features of Taylor’s career is the visibility of her own labour. Unlike many wealthy individuals whose work is abstracted behind corporate structures, Taylor’s labour is public and ongoing. It is not an accident that she has achieved this level of success. She writes her music, performs extensively (is a fan of over-delivering) and maintains creative involvement across all her work. Nobody else was baking cookies for their fans and having secret hang-out sessions and opening up their hearts the way Taylor has continued to do.

The Eras Tour exemplifies this labour-intensive model. The tour was not merely a revenue generating enterprise but a physically demanding performance that requires endurance, rehearsal and emotional presence. The tours impact includes employing thousands of workers and contributing significantly to local economies which complicates the narratives that frame her wealth as purely extractive. Additionally, her model of – "if the tour does well, everyone involved gets paid more" should set a precedence in the entertainment industry!

Cultural labour is often undervalued precisely because it is associated with pleasure and emotion. The assumption that creative work is less than industrial or technical labour has historically been used to justify its under-compensation. Taylor’s success threatens the entertainment industry as it challenges this hierarchy by demonstrating that cultural production can generate enormous value when creators retain control over their work.

To dismiss her wealth without acknowledging the labour, creativity and hard work behind it reinforces the very devaluation of artistic work that critics of capitalism often seek to dismantle.


Ownership as Resistance:

The most significant factor distinguishing Taylor from other ultra-wealthy figures is her approach to ownership. The sale of her masters without her consent exposed a structural vulnerability faced by artists within the music industry. Taylor Swift engaged in a strategic market-based intervention and re-recorded her catalogue.

Economically, it devalued her original masters while legally operating within existing contractual structures and culturally, it reframed ownership as a site of resistance rather than resignation of your fate. Taylor’s public declaration and acts of reclamation established a precedent that will forever influence industry norms.

This is a prime example of how Taylor did not reject the market; instead, she used it to correct an imbalance of power. She demonstrated her agency within capitalist systems and expanded it through knowledge, leverage and collective support. Her resulting wealth is not merely the outcome of market success but the by-product of an intervention that challenged exploitative norms.


Gender, Ambition, and Moral Scrutiny:

The outrage and reactions to Taylor Swift’s billionaire status cannot be disentangled from gendered expectations surrounding ambition. It is a truth universally acknowledged that women who pursue power are more likely to be perceived as unlikable, manipulative or morally suspect which is not the case for men with identical behaviours.

Taylor’s career trajectory has been marked by strategic decision making, brand management and her continued vulnerability and ability to express herself and her emotions in a way that marks her as a brilliant storyteller. Her career trajectory has increasingly positioned her within a traditionally masculine domain of authority.

The discomfort provoked by her wealth has disrupted the cultural framework through which she was initially understood which is as a confessional songwriter whose value lay in emotional transparency rather than strategic competence.

Emotional expressiveness is tolerated and even celebrated in women, so long as it is not accompanied by structural power and Taylor’s refusal to be boxed within these distinctions and her refusal to choose between vulnerability and ambition challenges this age-old stereotype and binary.

Criticism framed as economic concern often masks deeper anxieties about women who refuse to self-limit. The demand that she justifies, apologises for or redistributes her success reflects expectations that women temper achievement with humility. Where are these demands for George Lucas, Steven Spielberg or James Cameron?


The Demand for Relatability:

Taylor Swift’s wealth destabilizes the concept of relatability which is a quality disproportionately demanded of women in the public eye. Her music has fostered a sense of intimacy with her listeners who interpret it as personal connection. When that perceived intimacy coexists with immense wealth, it produces cognitive dissonance.

However, relatability is not a moral obligation and it is a market construct that benefits audiences more than the artists. We will be conflating art with personal availability if we insist that Swift remain economically accessible in order to preserve emotional authenticity. Additionally, this expectation reflects a broader pattern in which women are asked to trade power for connection.

Taylor’s refusal to do so exposes the transactional assumptions embedded in audience attachment. It is evident that the audience forever wants a palatable version of you.


Philanthropy and Responsibility:

Supporting Taylor’s billionaire status does not automatically mean that I idealize her use of wealth. While she has made significant philanthropic contributions, no individual’s charity can offset systematic inequality and to demand that she solve structural problems through personal generosity misunderstands both the scale of the problems and the role of the State.

At the same time, Taylor Swift’s labour practices, including reported bonuses for touring staff and advocacy for artists’ rights suggest an orientation toward responsibility rather than indifference. These actions do not absolve her from scrutiny but they do distinguish her from figures whose wealth accumulation is accompanied by deliberate opacity or harm.


Conclusion:

Taylor Swift’s billionaire status is not a referendum on capitalism’s moral legitimacy; instead, it is a test of our ability to think critically about power without resorting to symbolic scapegoating. 

Taylor did not inherit her billionaire status nor did she accumulate it through monopolistic control of necessities; she did not detach herself from the labour that generated it. She was successful in navigating an exploitative industry, reclaimed ownership over her art and leveraged cultural production into sustained economic power.

If the goal of anti-capitalist critique is to dismantle unjust systems, then precision is essential. Blanket condemnation may feel satisfying and will get you clicks and likes but it obscures meaningful distinctions and reinforces gendered double standards.

Taylor Swift’s success is unsettling precisely because it resists easy categorization. It exists at the intersection of labour and capital, vulnerability and authority, intimacy and distance. Engaging with that complexity does not weaken moral critique; it strengthens it.

Supporting her billionaire status is not an endorsement of inequality. It is my refusal to flatten nuance in the name of ideological comfort and a recognition that who holds power and how they came to hold it still and will forever matter!


Saturday, 15 February 2025

Extroverts... A Guide on How to Be Quiet - #MondayBlogs

February 15, 2025

Somewhere along the way, silence became a problem to be solved. Sitting alone at a party? Someone must come to your rescue. Not participating in a group activity? Clearly, you need encouragement. Quietly enjoying your own space? Oh no, we can’t have that. Because in a world that glorifies constant interaction, stillness is mistaken for loneliness, and solitude is seen as a cry for help.



As an introvert, I’ve spent years dodging well-meaning but relentless attempts to make me more social, as if my natural state is something to be fixed. At social gatherings (the ones I can’t avoid, anyway), I’m perfectly happy sitting in a corner, observing, or simply existing without feeling the need to contribute to the collective noise. But that’s rarely an option. Someone always thinks they’re doing me a favor by dragging me into a conversation, a party game, or—worst of all—to the dance floor. Because in their mind, I can’t possibly be enjoying myself if I’m not talking, moving, or otherwise proving my engagement.


It’s exhausting. And frankly, it’s time for a perspective shift.


This blog post isn’t about how introverts can “come out of their shells.” It’s not another list of ways we can learn to navigate a world that never stops talking. We have enough of those already. No, this is for the extroverts—the ones who thrive on energy, who can’t stand silence, who equate stillness with boredom, and who feel the need to fill every moment with noise.


Let’s flip the script. What if, instead of pushing introverts to be louder, extroverts learned to be quieter? What if you discovered that peace exists beyond constant conversation? That silence doesn’t need to be awkward, and not everyone is desperate to be included?


This is your guide to embracing the lost art of silence and, more importantly, learning when to just let introverts be.



No, We’re Not Broken: Myths About Introverts


For some reason, introversion is often treated like an unfortunate condition—something that needs to be fixed, managed, or overcome.

“You should speak up more!”

You just need to get out more...
“You’d have more fun if you joined in!” 

“You just need to come out of your shell!”

These are the well-meaning but utterly exhausting phrases introverts hear all the time.


So, let’s set the record straight. Here are some of the most persistent myths about introverts—debunked, once and for all.


1. Introverts are just shy.

No, introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Shyness is about fear of social judgment, while introversion is about energy. An introvert can be completely comfortable speaking in front of a crowd and still want to go home afterward and sit in silence for three hours.


2. Introverts don’t like people.

We like people. We just don’t like all people, all the time, in all settings. There’s a difference. Introverts value deep, meaningful connections, but the idea of filling every silence with small talk is pure torture.


3. Introverts don’t have fun.

Just because we don’t express excitement the same way extroverts do doesn’t mean we’re not enjoying ourselves. We don’t need to scream, jump, or dance to confirm that we’re having a good time. Sometimes, the best kind of fun is sitting in a quiet café, reading a book, or having a one-on-one conversation that doesn’t involve yelling over loud music.


4. Introverts are bad at socializing.

Introverts can be great at socializing. They just do it differently. Instead of bouncing from one person to another, they prefer quality over quantity—fewer interactions, but deeper ones. Also, they don’t believe in talking just for the sake of talking. Silence is perfectly fine, and no, it’s not awkward.


5. Introverts need to ‘come out of their shell.’

This is probably the most frustrating myth of them all. There is no “shell.” This is our personality. An introvert sitting quietly in a group isn’t waiting to be “saved” from themselves. They’re just… fine. Imagine that.


6. Introverts don’t like attention.

Not necessarily true. Some introverts love being in the spotlight—on their own terms. Many actors, musicians, and public speakers are introverts. The difference is, they need time to recharge afterward, whereas extroverts might thrive on the attention and seek more of it.


7. Introverts can’t be friends with extroverts.

Introverts and extroverts can be great friends—as long as there’s mutual respect. The key is understanding that introverts don’t always want to hang out, and that’s not a sign of disinterest. Sometimes, silence is just our way of being present. Almost all of my close friends are extroverts - they understand that I'd rather just observe than participate.


8. Introverts are always quiet.

Oh, we can be very loud—when we actually have something to say. Give an introvert a topic they’re passionate about, put them with the right people, or just catch them in the right mood, and they’ll talk your ear off. The difference? We don’t feel the need to fill silence. If there’s nothing important to say, we’re perfectly happy just existing in the moment.


Now that we’ve cleared up some misconceptions, let’s move on to the real challenge—helping extroverts embrace quiet and resist the urge to fix what isn’t broken.



Silence Isn’t Awkward—You Just Don’t Know What to Do With It


Let’s talk about silence. That vast, terrifying void where no one is talking, no music is playing, and—heaven forbid—no one is performing social energy exchanges every five seconds.


For some people, silence is peaceful. For others, it’s an unbearable abyss that must be filled with noise, chatter, or the first random thought that pops into their head (“So, uh… crazy weather, huh?”). If you fall into the second category, I have news for you: silence is not the enemy. You’ve just never learned how to sit with it.


Think about it. When was the last time you sat with someone in comfortable silence? No checking your phone, no feeling the urge to fill the gap, no background noise—just existing in the same space without pressure. If that idea makes you itch, then congratulations, you’ve just found your next personal growth challenge.


The truth is... silence only feels awkward if you believe it should be. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s just another form of communication—one that introverts are fluent in. Sometimes, the best moments aren’t the ones crammed with endless words, but the ones where you can just be.


Now, if you’re wondering, “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with silence?”—don’t worry, we’re getting there. Up next: a few practical tips on how to embrace quiet, respect introverts’ space, and maybe, just maybe, discover the joys of shutting up every once in a while.



How To Be Quiet (Without Exploding):


So, you’ve made it this far. You now know that introverts aren’t secretly miserable in silence, and you’ve accepted that not every moment needs to be filled with words. Great progress! But what now? How do you actually do quiet? How do you resist the overwhelming urge to fill every silence, drag introverts into activities, or—let’s be honest—just keep talking?


Don’t worry. I got you. Here are some practical ways to embrace quiet and, in turn, become the kind of extrovert that introverts actually enjoy being around.


1. Learn to sit with silence.

I know, I know. Silence feels weird at first. But instead of rushing to fill it, try sitting with it. Let a conversation pause without scrambling for a follow-up question. This maybe a perfect time to 'reflect' internally. Trust me, it won’t kill you.


2. Stop assuming quiet = uncomfortable.

If an introvert is sitting alone, they’re not silently begging you to rescue them. If a conversation has a lull, it doesn’t mean the vibe is ruined. If you let go of the idea that silence is awkward, you’ll realize it’s actually… peaceful.


3. Don’t force social activities on introverts.

Look, we get it—you love a good party game, group activity, or spontaneous karaoke session. Good for you. But if an introvert is clearly not interested, let them be. Stop with the “Come on, just try it!” If they wanted to, they would.


4. Lower your volume.

This one is simple. Just… talk a little softer. Not every conversation requires maximum enthusiasm, vocal projection, and hand gestures that could knock over a drink. Sometimes, a calm, normal-toned conversation is enough.


5. Respect the “Irish Exit.”

You know that moment when an introvert just disappears from the party without saying goodbye? That’s called an Irish Exit. And no, it’s not rude—it’s survival. If they’ve had enough socializing for the day, respect it. No dramatic “Where are you going?!” Just let them slip away in peace.


6. Be mindful of personal space.

Some extroverts love physical touch—hugs, shoulder pats, leaning in close. Introverts? Not always. Before you invade an introvert’s bubble, read the room. If they stiffen up when you go in for a hug, maybe… don’t.


7. Give introverts time to warm up.

Introverts don’t always jump into conversations with the same energy as extroverts. Instead of bombarding them with questions or expecting instant engagement, let them ease into it. The more comfortable they feel, the more likely they are to actually want to interact.


8. Accept that “No” is a complete sentence.

If an introvert declines an invitation, don’t push. Don’t guilt-trip. Don’t launch into “But why not? It’ll be so much fun!” Just accept the answer and move on. They’ll appreciate you for it.


9. Text first. Always.

Before calling, or video calling, or just showing up, send a text. Give the introvert a chance to mentally prepare. Unannounced social interaction is a crime against introverts, punishable by days (or even months) of avoidance.


10. Try doing something quiet for a change.

Instead of planning yet another loud, high-energy gathering, try a low-key activity—reading in the same room, watching a movie without constant commentary, or just taking a quiet walk. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it.


At the end of the day, this isn’t about changing who you are. It’s just about recognizing that not everyone thrives in constant noise and interaction. Respecting introverts’ need for quiet isn’t just about making them comfortable—it’s also a chance for you to experience a different kind of peace.


So, take a deep breath. Embrace the silence. And maybe, just maybe, learn to enjoy the sound of nothing.






Thursday, 10 August 2023

Embracing Self-Care and Self-Love: A Deeper Perspective

August 10, 2023


The concept of self-care and self-love has gained immense popularity. It is everywhere. People are talking about it across all social media platforms and  you hear about it in everyday conversations. However, if you really pay attention, it becomes quite apparent that many people discuss it without fully understanding it.

We have all been guilty of this at times - talking up things that we learn before understanding it completely. Personally, I too have been advocating for self-care for almost five years. Though with each passing year I have learnt and discovered more ~ its been a journey of continuous reading, watching, and learning.


Defining Self-Care / Self-Love

In the past, I would have described self-care as taking a little time out to pamper oneself. It could be something as simple as perhaps enjoying a cup of tea alone in the morning or indulging in a yearly body massage. But my understanding was limited to those small acts.

Despite these check-ins with myself, I rarely took meaningful action to address my physical and mental state. I would acknowledge the need for a break but felt burdened by responsibilities and obligations, convincing myself that putting myself first would be selfish. This mindset that the society has taught us, especially women, led me down a path of constant work, stress, and neglecting my well-being while taking care of everyone else until I experienced a severe burnout.

Looking back, I now realize that my understanding of self-care was superficial. While pampering oneself occasionally is essential, genuine self-love often demands more from us.

Discovering True Self-Love

Authentic self-care might sometimes push us to give ourselves the space we generously offer others; listening to and honoring what our minds and bodies are telling us. At times, it may even require us to embrace discomfort by being "selfish" enough to take that much-needed break or say no when we are already overwhelmed.

Self-love can also be painful, as it might require us to let go of relationships that no longer serve us or removing sources of negativity around us -even if they are friends or family.

However, before dismissing this as mere selfishness, consider three vital aspects:
The Definition of Selfishness: Is it selfish to listen to our minds and bodies, take a break from time-to-time, or set boundaries? Such steps are crucial for maintaining our well-being.
Who Defines Selfishness: If society deems these acts as selfish, reflect on whether those same people will support you during your darkest times or help pay your bills or help you with your mental and physical health needs.
The Importance of Self-Love: Without self-care, it becomes challenging to achieve our dreams or take care of others effectively. We must nourish ourselves to be capable of giving to others.



Embracing Self-Love: A Call to Action

At the core of it, self-love is about showing up for yourself every day and in every moment. It means saying no to things that don't align with our interests, cutting ties with toxic individuals, and prioritizing our well-being before caring for others.

As I look back on my enthusiasm for self-care when I first learnt about it without fully understanding its depth, I now realize the importance of introspection. By looking within, we can understand what our body and mind truly need. Only then can we start working on how to fulfill those needs without causing harm to others.

While this article provides insights into self-care and self-love that are my personal opinion from reading, learning, and experiencing things in own life, I suggest you to conduct further research and tailor these principles to suit your unique needs and personality.

Remember, genuine self-love requires continuous growth and understanding, making it a personal journey for each individual.




Monday, 6 December 2021

#MondayBlogs - You Are A Slut

December 06, 2021




“Wear proper cloths when you go outside. You can wear whatever you want at home, but outside, NO.”

Mrs. B said these words with so much confidence and conviction that for moment I could not wonder but thought…

“Is she my master or something, that is telling me what to and what not to wear? At the same time, she is so generous to give me the permission to wear whatever I want to wear indoors.”

Well, my first response was… what do you mean by proper clothes?

Mrs. B said, something which is not revealing.

Again, who gets to decide what is revealing? In Afghanistan, wearing a Burka which does not cover your face is revealing. At the same there are beaches in the world where walking naked is not revealing.

This answer didn’t impress her. Rather it made her only more eager to prove her point that what I wear, I wear it to get negative attention (read sexual attention) from men.

Hence, she came at me with her big guns.

“Somewhere a four-year girl got raped by the milk man because her mom wore short clothes and the milk man couldn’t rape the mom, so he raped the little girl and killed her.”

WOW, I did NOT have a response to that. It is like my actions will cause something so horrible to my daughter that I can’t even imagine it even in my worst nightmare. And someone actually said this out loud. 

Should I cry because of the pain she caused me or tell her to fuck off?

I don’t know what to do. I am numb. I left the premise.

After I reached home, my immediate response was immense anger. After I had calmed down, I realized what she was trying to do. She was trying to SLUT-SHAME me.


Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. The term is used to reclaim the word slut and empower women and girls to have agency over their own sexuality.

I know exactly why she was doing this, point to point, but this is not about her, it’s about all of the people who think it’s their birth right to slut shame others, especially girls.

Some Basic examples of slut shaming

Blaming the girl:

The most common way of slut-shamming is to tell the girl, it's your fault. Be it anything, for example someone making vulgar comments, leaking her pics online, raping her, inserting an iron rod through her vagina for far in that it reaches her heart… IT’S ALL HER FAULT.

Mocking someone else’s sexual practices because to you, they are “weird.”:

In the core, belief lies that, it’s different so it’s bad. Homosexual people are more vulnerable to these types of things.

Assuming a girl is only dressing up to impress guys:

The only work a girl has, is to dress up, so men give her attention. It’s the core of her existence. Female bodies exists to be pleasing to men. Although, the fact is, we dress according to the weather, body function, activity and to express our personal aesthetic.

Different stand for Girls and Boys:

A guy who has sex with multiple women is Stud and a woman who does the same thing is a slut. Logic simply committed a suicide here. 

Describing another woman — or yourself! — as being “like a guy when it comes to sex.”:

We have a tendency to describe someone who explore and express their sexual desires as “Like a Guy”. Sorry to disappoint, but Men don’t get to have ownership over the act of “liking sex,”. It’s simply not how its biologically designed. 

Not speaking up for each other:

Not standing up for each other is silent way of telling, you deserve it.

Why Someone slut shame others

At the core of it all, those who engage in slut shaming usually believes that the whole existence of a woman is to please men, and who dress up in certain way, behave certain ways are not satisfied with one man. In other words, a good woman stays covered up and only pleases her husband even if she is not sexually satisfied.



How to stop Slut Shaming

The solution is very simple: RESPECT INDIVIDUAL CHOICES.


Well, after reading all this, if you still wondering what was I wearing to cause such response, please read it again. 

"I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because I choose to. Women can be sexual AND talented. Naked and dignified. It’s OUR choice," - Ariana Grande




Monday, 25 October 2021

#MondayBlogs - Judge Me All You Want

October 25, 2021

Source: Candy Cigarette by Sally Mann (Conscientious)


I know that look… I know that you are judging me right at this moment. See, if I care… Once upon a time, I would have cared but now I don’t. Not any more.

I was once like you – pure and innocent.  But I did not have a childhood like yours. Nor did I have the choices that you did. My life has been different from the very beginning. Why you ask? I do not know as I do not see any difference between you and me. I see the same heart and the same blood in both of us. We breathe in the same air and walk on the same earth. The same things hurt us and the same things bring us joy. Yet, my life is different from yours. Why you ask? Truthfully, I do not know.

People tell me it is because I dared to be born as a girl child in a family that craved only for a son. I was just a mistake conceived in a flurry of passion and regretted from the moment of my birth. No one cared that my sex was not my choice. No one cared that at I had the same need for attention and affection. No one cared that I can work just as hard and love even more. My younger brother was nourished and cherished, while I learnt to live on one meal a day – sometimes on even less. I was reminded every day that he was strong while I was weak. That my brother would grow up, earn and look after my parents while I would grow up and would need to be married off at the cost of a heavy dowry. I would always drain their blood and money. When my family could not afford the basic necessities, they sold off their only liability, me, in exchange for a meagre amount of cash that would keep their hunger at bay for a month. My cries and pleas did not move my parents. I was just a burden they were getting rid of.

From the age of six, I have been trained in every way possible to be successful at my trade. After all, I had to work off my family’s debt. I was only a little girl – fighting back wasn't an option. So, I learned the tricks and did my job even though it made me sick and hurt my insides. While numerous men enjoyed my flesh and ravaged my body, it did not matter if I wanted it or liked it or hated it – it was my job and I had to do it. I know you think that girls like me are in this business because it is an easy way to earn money or because it is pleasurable. But let me assure you that being beaten, whipped, tortured or used as an ashtray just to satisfy some sadistic need is neither a short cut nor is it pleasurable. Unlike you, I was not taught not to smoke or drink; instead it became my only escape. I felt violated, I felt trapped and I felt choked in my life but no one cared. Once again, my pleas for help fell on to deaf ears – I was yet to justify my existence.

It took me some time but I finally realized something… It doesn't matter whether anyone cared or not because no one can see beyond my flesh. You cannot see the pain in my eyes or the hurt in my heart or the broken dreams. It does not matter to you that I did not have the childhood I deserved or the love and affection that was my birth right. I do not deserve the prejudice you have against me and I do deserve the same respect as you. I warrant the same chance at happiness and the same encouragement to chase my dreams.

Did you ever stop to wonder who I am?

I am little girl with an old soul. My experiences have aged me far more than my years on this earth. I am a woman who is beyond any care in the world. After years of crying and begging, I know not to expect warmth or understanding or even a spare thought. So, why should I care for those who have always turned their backs and blind eyes away from me? I am a gentle spirit who has been pushed around for far too long. I am done being treated as a burden or a liability. I am tired of justifying my existence with every breath I take. I am just another human being who has been on the edge and back. My dreams and desires have been broken so many times, yet my soul and spirit survives.

I am the uncensored reflection of most women you know. Some trade in their freedom and some trade in their emotions. Some do it voluntarily and some do it involuntarily. Some do it in the name of love, some in the name of marriage and some do it in the name of family. All those little things that you take for granted from them, all those little compromises you expect them to make – brings her a step closer to what I unabashedly am. Every time you think she is weak, every time you try to suppress her, every time you take her choices away – you make her a little more like me. Crush her innocence, crush her dreams, crush her aspirations – she just gets a step closer to where I am.

I know that look… I know that you are judging me right at this moment. See, if I care… Once upon a time, I would have cared but now I don’t. Not any more. 

So, judge me all you want – for my actions and for the choices You think I have made. It does not matter because you are merely judging the piece of flesh that you see. 



"This post was originally published by me at a different blog as a part of IBL; the Battle of Blogs, sponsored by WriteupCafeJoin us at our Official Website and Facebook page"

Wednesday, 15 September 2021

I am a Man - #MyFriendAlexa

September 15, 2021


Recently I came across a video by an alcohol brand where actor Sanjay Dutt is promoting the right kind of Masculinity (read Toxic), urging people to consume this particular alcohol, and become a real man.

The video is so toxic and stereotypical that even the most stereotypical men will find it offensive.


Now the point is, we all talk about female stereotypes, we all fight it in our own way (I hope we all do). But face it, female stereotypes are the real issue, but we also need to address the other elephant in the room, the male stereotypes. They are so interconnected that we can’t move forwards without addressing both issues.

According to various analysts and researchers, male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. 

The most popular stereotypes of male characters are:

The Joker: The funny who no one takes seriously, he is there just for the comic relief, most importantly, no girl wants to date him.

The Jock: He is athletic, muscular, date the sexiest girl, is usually dumb, and sucks at studies.

The Strong Silent Type: He exudes strength by taking action without expressing or worrying about their emotions. He loves to deny his emotions and feelings. Denial is his poison. 

The Big Shot: These are the people who think they are mighty or they are acting like they are better than everybody else when in reality they are not.

The Action Hero: This is the one with a savior complex. It’s his job to save someone, especially a girl. We see them everywhere with their inflated muscles and egos. 

The Buffoon: Commonly described as a bungling father figure. They are usually well-intentioned and light-hearted, however completely hopeless when it comes to parenting, dealing with domestic or career issues.

However, when we dig dipper, one common theme in all the stereotypes are 
“be a man, suck it up,”


Let us see what are the most common male stereotypes:


Vulnerability: The biggest stereotyped male behaviour is showing Vulnerability. Hey are suppose to be the MAN, can’t ask for help, can’t show fear, he will not express his love, in short, a robot with muscles.

And when they actually ask for help, they have penalized for the challenge of this notion.

Emotions (Sadness): The only emotion a man is allowed to show is his anger. In various cultures, men are socialized to be stoic.

And when they show any other emotion other than anger they are showed with amazing adjectives like being pussy.

Love for Sports: Men are supposed to love sports, especially the aggressive ones, like rugby, football, basketball.

Control their woman: A man have to be in control of his home, especially his wife. If one can’t control their wife, it’s a big shame.

Modesty: Men are expected to be proud of their achievements. Research shows that men who were more modest about their qualifications were evaluated as less likable.

Now, what we can do about it…

The simplest answer here is to teach our children to be more compassionate to everyone, celebrate men who dare to express their emotions, broaden gender stereotypical roles, most importantly do not gender police.

Let’s start this discussion with the wise words of Nelson Mandela,

“We slaughter one another in our words and attitudes. We slaughter one another in the stereotypes and mistrust that linger in our heads, and the words of hate we spew from our lips.” 




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