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Sunday 14 June 2020

To "Meat" or "Not to Meat", the saga of a Bengali Brahmin

So! That happened! Never in her life did Andy think she would be called an asshole for being a non-vegetarian but there he was, the guy she lovingly called "The Tamilian", saying she is as much of an asshole as him, coz she wants to cook meat at home.

Andy was in a daze...


Growing up in a Bong household (Bengali for our traditionalist readers), it never occurred to her to give a second thought while wolfing down a plate of yummy fish curry or gorging on the next chicken roll served at the roadside stall.

In her life, so far she has interacted with people from various cultures and tried out a variety of cuisines based on religious and cultural significance - some more palatable to her than the others. Some liked her type of food, some chose not to. But lately, she is coming across a bunch of these religious bigots who has been raising a finger at her food habits - a very dangerous thing to do to a fish loving strong headed Bong chick!

For as long as her memory serves, Andy has always had fish. In fact, that was her staple diet while growing up. It didn't matter that she grew up a Brahmin. In a Bong family, your caste is determined the football team you follow (her house was strongly divided between Brazil and Argentina my friends - a sight to behold during world cups) rather than the food you ate. Yes they were Brahmins! Yet they revelled in the next serving of mutton biriyani as much as their Muslim brethren of Park Circus.

She first encountered this caste based food bigotry when her roommate's Grandma chastised her for eating meat in spite of being a Brahmin, a dialogue she chose not to engage with out of respect for her old age.

In the inside though, Andy was in turmoil.

What does being a Brahmin meant exactly and why does she need to prove her Brahminism to these other group of Brahmins from the rest of India? It almost seemed like the majority of the remaining Brahmins didn't eat meat and expected her to apologize for indulging in such delicacies.

However, like most of the Bongs Andy was lazy as fuck to have joined a heated conversation justifying her eating habits. Instead she treated herself to the next serving of chicken rezala and moved on with her life.

Fast forward 10 years, as she tried to get back into the world of dating, she kept on bumping into these "vegetarian" sect. Contrary to the popular belief that a non-vegetarian like gay people would forcibly try and convert all the vegetarians, she was finding all the vegetarians acting exactly like homophobes - literally looking down upon her food habits and trying to make her give up fish and meat.


One of the men she met had the audacity to ask, being a meat eater how can she call herself a Brahmin which prompted her to thoroughly research the various kinds of Brahmins in India, including the references of having beef in the original vedas which were replaced by practising "Sattik" or "no meat philosophy" down the line.

Inspite of not believing in cast and creed, Andy found herself learning about how sections of the Saraswat and Kanyakubja Brahmins settled in Kashmir, Konkan regions, western parts of India and sections of Bengal, Assam and Odisha. They have always retained their non-vegetarian diet - something that baffles the rest of the Pancha-Gauda (to the north of the Vindhya Mountain range) or Pancha-Dravida (to the south of Vindhya Mountain range) Brahmins.

While she was busy educating this new horde of vegetarian dates, in walks the Tamilian, with his complicated soiree of long lost words that hardly gets used in day to day life. Looming over her like the next big disaster, he was completely opposite to the kind of guy she usually falls for - anal retentive and rigid as fuck, something she discovered months later. His kindness and stoic nature made her blind towards his rigidity and she started finding his anal habits such has fixing the lining of her shoe while she was crying loudly in his shoulders, cute.

However, months of engaging conversation and care couldn't save her from this conversation that Andy was having now.

She was not allowed to cook meat in the same house as him. As she accused him of being a rigid asshole and not believing in "live and let live" policy, the Tamilian surprised her by calling her an asshole for insisting on being herself and wanting to cook meat at home - the very thought of which he found offensive.

There it was! The red flags that she was trying to overlook when he said that he has only ever stayed with other Tam Brams now suddenly became traffic stop lights and halted her in this unrealistic dream journey. Months of conversation was nothing to this guy just because of her food habit and it broke her.

She started reflecting on her eating habit, and started wondering why it's always the vegetarians who think they are better than the non-vegetarians, just because they don't consume animal protein? Were these practices followed in the era of cavemen where survival was the key? As she tried to drown her sorrow in her tear-soaked pillow, Andy realized how one man's rigidity can be perceived as another man's religious bias. She won't make a deal with the devil and give up her fish and meat or freedom of expression for ANYONE.

And no more trying to date vegetarians! Those snooty bastards seem to be the worst of the lot, thought Andy next day as she happily chomped into her crab roll, choosing herself over any rules and regulations.





42 comments:

  1. I loved the extract & the handle;'lost in translation':)

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    1. Thanks, kinda lost here while trying to translate the meaning of life, hence the name

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  2. You have a nice free flowing style of writing! Kudos and best wishes!

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  3. I am so glad you wrote about it. Being from Odisha and a Brahmin I was always questioned in the North by my friends throughout my Masters, the logic behind behind Brahmins and non-vegetarians. I tried and was finally able to convince them that fish is seen as a bhog or prasad in their terms to Mata Mangala in Odisha. And Ma Kali was offered meat. So culture and puja is different and so is the food habits. That's the beauty of diversity. I like to believe that perhaps that had widened their vision a bit.

    I too don't get this superiority complex for being vegetarian.

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    1. I am so glad that you educated them on this Pratikshya, it's just food at the end of the day. If they bother you again, shame them by saying "Shame on you for stealing the milk of calves and having paneer from them ;)"

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  4. Being a north indian brahmin we are pure vegetarians but I have done bengali friends those are Brahmins and non vegetarian. I respect their tradition and understand the logic behind.

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    1. That makes you human and normal Preeti, a trait that is hard to come by

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  5. Hahahaha! Snooty vegetarians indeed!! It's the mother of all debates!! I was brought up in Goa and vegetarians there dobeat fish and chicken. They would never comprehend how i could survive without eating non veg while i would reflect on the vice versa! Butvwe all respected each other's choices of course!!

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  6. We should respect each and every body's eating habits and traditions. If we are vegetarian doesn't mean everyone we meet do not eat meat!

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  7. I am a vegetarian by choice but have started cooking chicken since my kids like it. I think people have too much of nonsense in their heads about what or not should be eaten! I do hope the crab rolls were good!

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  8. Good that Andy chose herself over these rules and regulations !

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  9. Well isn't this a delightful read! I too struggle to understand why vegetarians (and these days vegans) consider themselves superiors to meat eaters.. It's a life choice, people should let others live. And I'm glad Andy saw the red light before things went further with the "asshole"

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  10. Assamese Brahmins also eat nonveg food. Loved reading it

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  11. The vegetarian vs non-vegetarian fight was never so 'in the face' as it is presently! I also wonder why can't people live and let live? Is it so difficult? Loved your impactful writing...

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  12. Food is a matter of choice and the basic freedom that every human being deserve.
    Respecting every ones culture is must.

    - Ujjwal Mishra MywordsMywisdom

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  13. You know what they say about Bengalis and Keralites - we love our fish and rice. To each, their own. I am glad that Andy didn't change herself. He wasn't worth the trouble!

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  14. Unfortunately these divisions and judgements and narrow mindset still exists and has to be faced everyday. You stay true to urself girl, kudos to you.
    P.S. I’m a bong (baidya).

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  15. Hahaha I do not bother who eats what because i eat everything. But if someone talks down about my food, they have had it! You eat what you want and stop poking your nose in my plate.

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  16. I just loved your writing. I am so confused by this looking down upon thing for non vegetarians.. though I am a vegetarian but my husband is a meat eater and I am quite fine with it, he cooks at our home and we dine at the same table

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  17. I respect every freedom for food. Love rice and fish

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  18. Some things should be left untouched and respected. #MyFriendAlexa #TinaReads

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  19. I don't get the fixation of people judging people based on the these two facts - family they are born in (not a choice) and food choices (should be a choice, but isn't in Indian families). I am born in a Bengali family, I never touched fish even though it was a cooked at my home daily. And guess what? I was being judged even then - during my dating game days too! I loved your take!

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  20. I'm lost at your charismatic way of writing, Debdutta.

    And being a Goan-Kannadiga who's a carnivore on some days & a herbivore otherwise, I totally understand the weird audacity of judging people based on their food choices correlating their lineage. It's funny, actually! Isn't it?

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  21. Oh I cud so relate as even I am a bhrahmin but I am expected to not tell others that I eat egg as people show their big eyes and ask but you are a bhrahmin. Well rest is the story.

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  22. Loved the title and your writing style.Nice post.

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    1. Thanks princely, I strive to be more regular but failing due to work load (age old excuse)

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  23. Loved your writing style & narrative. Even I am a Brahmin from the North but used to have non veg during my childhood & questioned by everyone but I didn't stop eating meat. Then came a moment when I realized I don't need to kill an animal to fill my tummy & I turned vegetarian.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your journey Neha. See that's a choice you made to uphold some values that are closer to your heart and you have all the right to do so. But if you start saying people who eat meat and less pure (which I am sure you don't), therein the problems start

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  24. Why so much drama over consumption is clueless to me.. we Indians conc on all the unimportant stuff in life a lot 😂

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    1. I so agree. Seems like live and let live policy is not for everyone...

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  25. It is individuals choice and family eating habit. Others should respect them as it doesn't make them less of a human.

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    1. Well that's the entire point though right Shipra? If you knew from day 1 that you can never choose to be with someone who is a non-vegeterian, why proceed in the first place?

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  26. Food is the very first thing where we gets our first freedom to follow our heart to eat what we want to eat, sad part is judging people on the basis of being veg or non veg tjis mindset still exist in our society! happy for Andy!

    Archana Srivastava
    archusblog

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    1. Exactly, the food that we grow up eating becomes a part of our identity and not necessarily a fad.

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  27. I really believe that we can't judge or question others for having different habits and perception than our. To each it's own.

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    1. That's what I thought as well Priya but lately all I have been coming across are men who exactly do that. Maybe it's just localized with men in Bay Area?

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  28. Totally taken away by the smooth flow of this meaty and non meaty saga. #dewreads
    #MyFriendAlexa

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  29. hahhaha you spoke my mind. Was just discussing how meat on Ashtami was imortant to us, and my North Indian friend thought it was blasphemy to talk only about food and meat during navratris!!

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